I'll Cry Instead

Chapter 24

"Thank you, Paul. You don't know how much it means to me that you'll listen," Jackie smiled as she rubbed his hand affectionately.

"It's my pleasure to listen, Jackie. Especially after everything you've done for me, so go ahead," Paul replied sweetly with a wan smile, which made Jackie's heart flutter as she looked into his feverish eyes.

"Okay, well, here it goes then," she began as she looked upwards, as if she was gathering her thoughts and emotions.

A few seconds later, she continued, "My father was a firefighter and he loved me, Cathy, and Mum very much, especially Mum. I always knew he'd do anything for her, and vice versa, but that doesn't mean they never had their occasional argument, of course, just like any couple. Well, it was a rainy, summer's night and my father was preparing to go to work, when Mum came stomping through the house where my father was gathering his things. She looked so cross I couldn't help but grow nervous for Daddy because I knew her anger was directed towards him, it was obvious in her piercing glare. Before anyone knew it, she had begun to yell at him because he'd made a big purchase without her consent. He grew angry, for he thought he was doing what was best for her, so he stormed outside, never saying goodbye, mind you, and took off in the car. By the time he left, the rain had begun to fall harder and the wind was raging. I knew Daddy would never have driven in such weather when he wasn't angry, so I began to worry for him, just as Cathy was and, I suspect, Mum. We had a right to worry, though, b-because..." Jackie stopped as she began to weep, her hands covering her face as she did so.

Paul felt his heart break for the poor girl, and so he did exactly what his mum would do for him when he'd scraped a knee or lost one of his beloved Rupert the Bear annuals.

Pulling her into a warm embrace, he began to whisper reassuring words into her ear as she sputtered and cried.

"There, there, Jackie, my love. It's alright. Just let it be," he told her in his hoarse and raspy voice as he rubbed circles on her back.

Instantly relaxing in his arms, she hugged him back, her arms wrapping around his skinny and feverish frame.

It was odd to her, in a way, for she felt as if she'd always had him there to hug and comfort her. It was like he'd always been her shoulder to cry on, even though she'd only met him once before.

"Some things are just natural and meant to be," she mused, momentarily forgetting the current situation as she inhaled his comforting scent. "It's as if God Himself sent Paul to me."

"Alright now?" Paul's husky voice sounded, interrupting her thoughts as he pulled out of their hug in order to look her in the eyes.

"Yes, thank you, Paul," she sniffled with a smile. "I'm sorry about that."

"No, don't be sorry, luv. You have a right to cry," Paul soothed as he tenderly brushed her silky hair out of her face.

Jackie felt amazed by his kindness and couldn't help but let out a little moan of gratitude, which he didn't seem to take notice of. Then, feeling that she was ready to continue, she started her story once again.

"As I was saying...before I broke down like an old lory," she added with a chuckle, which Paul mirrored, "We had a right to worry because, in his angry fit, he didn't bother to drive safely. There was a red light, but he didn't see it, and so he, he ran into another car. They said he passed away upon impact, and the other driver unfortunately passed away as well. When the policeman had come to our house to break the news, it was like we already knew what he was going to say, as if God had already let us know. Still, having our worries verified by the officer caused us to break down completely. We cried and cried. I had never seen Mum cry so much. It was just...awful," she exhaled as she once again fought back her tears, all while Paul bit his lip in sympathy for her as he patted her arm. "And do you know what the worst part of it all was?" Jackie then asked the bassist, her tone full of hurt and longing.