Iroh's Gourmet Teas and Teapots

The Breakdown

There were some things in life that were universally known. Water is wet. Not everyone you meet will like you.  Our upbringings shape our adulthoods. Happiness is a fleeting feeling. Tea is hot leaf juice, but not just hot leaf juice. If you're lucky enough to be blessed with firebending, it's your duty to get with a firebender with different genitals so you two can have kids and make more firebenders to strengthen the fire nation.

Zuko did not appreciate these rules for several reasons. One, because tea is just hot leaf juice. Two, because he was very, very homosexual.

It wasn't like Zuko was against having kids. He just didn't want to have kids with a woman. If he met a trans guy who was willing to have kids with him one day, or if he one day met a guy who already had a kid, then everyone would probably be fine with it.

When he first realized he was into men, Azula had called him a slur.

He had asked, "Aren't you also gay?"

And she had simply replied, "Yes, but I'm good at it."

Uncle was very supportive of Zuko's sexuality from the get-go. He was a believer that love was love, and love had no gender, sex, or status. It was just love, and because it was love, it was beautiful.

Zuko knew it wasn't bad to be gay, but part of him still worried about disappointing people. He had already been disowned and banished. He had already spent weeks screaming that he needed to catch the avatar only for him to realize that his father never intended for him to succeed. He had already had half his face burned off and he had already lost his right to the throne.

If his father somehow found out he was gay on top of all that? Zuko could count on assassins coming to take out his partner within the day.

For these reasons, when Zuko realized he was head-over-heels in love with a non-bending, non-fire nation boy, he had one thing and one think only to say to that.

"Fuck."
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It was almost poetic in a way, that every time Zuko had a mental breakdown in a forest a badgerfrog was there. Zuko wondered if it was related, or if there were just an abundance of badgerfrogs. Was it correlation or causation? Was it either?

"Oh, badgerfrog," Zuko groaned, laying down on a fallen log, "What's wrong with me? Sokka's so charming and smart and funny and handsome and... ugh! He's just so cute! What do I do here? What's my next move? Do I have to move? Should I jump off a mountain? Fuck me, where am I going to find a mountain?"

The badgerfrog didn't answer, and wasn't sure why this strange man was yelling at him. He decided that he was sick of this life, and because he was a badgerfrog, croaked and decided to start a new life in a different forest, one with less strange human men.

Zuko stayed on the log long after the badger frog hopped off. He stayed until the sky was dark, then began wondering what the others were doing. They had probably already eaten dinner and were starting to go to sleep. He was glad no one was out looking for him, because he wanted to be alone right now.

Eventually he was found by a very loud search party of one.

"Zuko?" Sokka's voice shouted through the trees, "Zuko? Where are you? Zuuuukoooo? Come out come out wherever you a- oh, there you are. Hey, Zuko, what brings you here?"

Zuko didn't answer, as he thought the answer was obvious. He was clearly sulking.

"Sulking in the woods, huh? I've been there," Sokka sat down beside him. "What's wrong? Did Aang's dinner make you sick? The first time I had his food I got sick, too. That's just how vegan food is, you'll get used to it."

"What? No, it's not that."

"You don't have to be embarrassed. Seriously, I had to spend the whole day in the bathroom. And we were camping, so the bathroom was really a bush and I had to wipe with leaves. It was so gross."

"No, I'm not sick, I didn't eat dinner last night."

"Lucky."

"I like guys!" Zuko blurted out before he could convince himself not to, then immediately covering his face with his hands. "Specifically, I like one guy, and he's my best friend, and I don't know what to do! Like, how will I have kids? How can I make lots of powerful little firebender babies if I'm into a cisgender guy!"

Sokka frowned. "That's, uh... that's some heavy stuff, there. I don't really know what to say, but I'm here for you. I like guys, too. So does Katara. Which, uh, isn't the same as you, since you're queer and Katara liking just guys means she isn't. But I am, so I can totally relate."

"You do?" Zuko asked, moving his hands away from his face, "How?"

"How did I know I like guys? To be honest, I realized after I saw the boulder," Sokka sighed like he was remembering something pleasant, "He was my bi awakening, as I'm sure he is for many. What a dreamboat."

Zuko jutted his head back in confusion. "Uh, I was asking how you deal with that. Like... do you just wait for the feeling to go away? Or is there something I can do to fix it quicker?"

"Fix it? Like... get with the person you like? I'm gonna be honest, while my dating game is flawless, I'm better at asking people out than I am keeping the relationship going. Like, my first girlfriend turned into the moon. So I'd say that you should ask them out then make sure they don't turn into the moon."

Zuko filed the conversation away in his brain with a note to ask about that later. "No, like how do I stop feeling this way? How do I fix it?"

"....I don't think I'm following. Why would you want to stop crushing on someone? Crushing is the best."

"First off, it's not. It sucks, I'm always dumb around him. And second, because I can't have kids like this. That's what dating and sex and marriage are for!"

"Well, for me, sex and dating are because it's awesome. But regardless of that, you're, like, 16. You can worry about marriage and kids later. Maybe adopt some orphans of war, there are a lot of those."

If Zuko was in a movie, angels would have started singing, he thought. How had he not thought of that? It was genius. He could even say it was a political thing if he wanted, to adopt war orphans instead of having biological kids.

"Sokka, you're a genius."

"Thanks. Would you tell Katara that? I keep telling her, but she says I've just got a big head. Cain instinct and all that."

"I don't know what that is, but I can tell her."

"Nah, it's fine."

Zuko's face fell a moment later, happiness fading just as quickly as it had appeared.

"Wait, why do you look sad again? You were happy then you got all morose-ey."

"It's just..." Zuko said, "What will my family think?"

Sokka raised an eyebrow. "Not to be a jerk, but I don't think your family could hate you more than they already do."

Zuko considered this for a moment. "You got me there."

"That's rough, Buddy." Sokka patted Zuko's shoulder before standing. "Anyway, you've got fluffy hair and a sexy body, you're a catch. I'm sure he'll like you."

Zuko felt better than he had all day as watched as Sokka walked away. If what Sokka said was true, his friends would accept him. Almost even better, Sokka was also into guys.

That night, Zuko took out his quill and began writing Uncle a letter. Things are going well, he told him, and I've got a lot to tell you.