Always and Fornever

Emotionally Scarred

". . .We all human, we all got issues. But I'm tired of being tired of being tired. That part of me done died."

It wouldn't be the truth if I said I wasn't worried. Kelly hadn't been speaking to me, or anyone for that matter.

During dinner Kelly had a panic attack and passed out. When she had woken up on the couch she insisted that no one touched her and drug herself up the steps. After about four hours she finally unlocked the guest bedroom door for me. She slept on the opposite side of the bed.

The next morning she packed her bags and put them in the trunk preparing for our departure the next morning. Kelly rode with her cousin to the spreading of ashes while I drove alone.

The scenery was beautiful a flower patch filled with lavender. And one huge willow tree. It was honestly breath taking. Family and friends stood in a group. Kelly's expression could dry up a river. She took a small flask sipping it. Teyanna rubbed her back a bit. I sat to the end of the row as I watched my love be comforted by her cousins.

Kelly's aunt stood at the front of the group. A long black dress with a a dark plumb to complement.

"We gathered here today to not only honor, but remember a life. Now this is not a time to cry. This is a time of a remembrance. Remembering the nurse, who looked after those who was unable to. The hustler, making sure the bills got paid by any means. The sister, making ends meet. The mother."  She looked over to Kelly. "Providing and setting the best example." Kelly chuckled dryly. "And now we set her free." Lola started to open the Urn. "As we set her to rest we let go of the good and the bed. Along with the mistakes and perfection."

"I was supposed to spreading my sister to rest but I believe there's someone more fit to do such, Kelly." Kelly's head slowly turned towards her. Tears filling her already dead eyes. Her aunt motioned her to come up. She slowly came to her feet. She stumbled a bit. She slowly moved next to her aunt. Take the black maté black vase. She held it tightly. Her hands started to shake and tears rolled. Kelly Isn't built for this.

"Uhm, what kind worlds Auntie Lola. I could say she was a great woman. That her nun to five barely paid enough to keep the water running. That she scrapped money together for my brother peewee team. That she told us that everything would be okay. No matter how bad it got, excuse my language. But," Kelly looked at her Aunt. She shook her head in disappointment. "It would be a fucking lie." Lola's face dropped. "What the fuck?" I said up under my breath.

People in the crowd gasped and muttered to one another. Kelly has been pushed enough. I wasn't sure what that meant but I would soon find out.

"My mother used to work at a nursing home, after she got fired for shooting up the patients medication the haters closet." Kelly spoke never leaving her Aunts eyes. "You little" Her Aunt tried to move quickly before she was snatched back by her husband. "From there she fucked what ever was going to pay the bills. I can't say that she loved me. I can't say that she wanted was best for me." Kelly took a breath in deeply. "I don't know if I loved her honestly. What type of mother stuffs her kid in a rehabilitation center for "the troubled." The troubled? For anyone wondering I'm not troubled I'm a fucking lesbian." The crowd went silent.

She's fucking drunk. I told Kelly I would support her through this but she's was making an ass out of her self up there. This is crazy.

"She was a damn terrible fucking person. And the only reason I came here is so I can do this." Kelly raised the vase above her head. Kelly what are you doing¿ The crowd of people gasped. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. The vase slipped from her fingers and into the air. "NO!" Lola screamed for her sister. Jay dove for the thing as quickly as possible. Moving to my feet I grabbed Kelly.

She had lost her ever lasting fucking mind. Yes it's okay to hate your mother. Probably not, but she shouldn't act out like this. This isn't her. This isn't the warm sweet woman that I know. This isn't Kelly.

Jay saved the antique before it could hit the ground. "Oh thank god." Lola let out a sigh of relief. "What are you doing?" She looked over at me. "Kelendria let's go." I tried to move her. "No I'm not going." She pulled back. The smell of Jose wafted from her breath. "Kelly come on, we are leaving." My grip became tighter. She could be serious right now. "No I'm not going!" Her drunken state made her I little easier yet harder to manage.
"Alright have it your way then." I whispered up under my breath. Before Kelly could turn around I had thrown her into my shoulder. I moved towards the car as quickly as I could.

I can't believe this shit. She may be upset but is this the shit she's really on. Smashing her mother's ashes! I'm not completely sure as into what happened between her and her mother. But this isn't what needs to go down.

"Put me the fuck down! Lemme go now! Fucking get off me!" The woman flair trying her hardest to get out. Feet away from the car Kelly sent her knee into my face. "Damn." The blow loosened my grip letting her go. She stumbled back onto the side door into the glass. Opening my watery eyes I looked down into my hand. Drops of blood ran into my hand. "Are you fucking serious Kelendria¿" I looked at her in rage. "I told you to put me down!" I looked at her in awe. "So this is how you conduct yourself?"

I was livid with Kelly. Not talking to me, okay cool. Drinking at your mothers service pushing it but grieve how you need to get through that moment. But This shit is out of control.

"Conduct m-mm-myself? Why is shit aa-a-aways my fault! When my f-ff-ather died it was my fault and that bitch never ll-let me forget it. Beat me every day of my life to r-remind me! Then sent away for it." She stood there. I was drawing a blank. what could I say? She took a deep breath trying to calm her self. "I-I got three broken ribs and busted lip after a month of being in that place. Needed six stitches. A concussion so bad I got a brain bleed and after four hours, when I finally got medical attention. I woke up in the ICU with a stutter so bad needed speech therapy." She moved her tongue around. "And guess what? Still not call. So I don't know how to conduct myself, because I'm fucking pissed."

Wow. I honestly didn't know what to say. Sorry. The one person in the world who is supposed to protect you. Have your back no matter what, turn on you. It can poison a person.

Without a world Kelly opened the passengers side door getting in.