1.1 | constellations of you and me ✓

26 | corvus

IN LIFE, BELONGING IS A NECESSITY. Maybe it's in an intimate family; maybe it's the art of diving into education; maybe it's tangled in a stranger's bed. But everybody longs to fit in, even if society constantly spreads the message that it's generally alright to be different. It's a constant war: be better, everyone says. Wear this. Don't eat sugar late at night. Sometimes, Eloise can't keep up with the newest trends, still endlessly stuck in the past. It's even worse when she thinks about entering the world of work.

"I can't believe we're expected to pick our profession at eighteen years old," Parker complains, throwing an arm over her eyes and trying to block out the brightening sunshine. Santa Monica beach is littered with people even in the evening, and Eloise applies another thin layer of sunscreen to her calves (the only places she ever burns). "The education system is so fucked."

Rory props up on both elbows and takes a bite of her waffles wrapped in tinfoil, red hair frizzy towards the ends and eyes completely covered in cat-eyed sunglasses. "At least you have an idea of what you want to do," she sighs. "My parents think I'm a disappointment."

"Oh, fuck, let's not even go there." Chase rolls her eyes and tosses Eloise a carbonated mango soda, sending her a wink and crossing the distance to lay her soft towel out on the sand. "I told my parents I'm done with their therapy, and my mom hasn't called me since. It's messing with my head."

Mine too, Eloise thinks morbidly, popping the cap and taking a sip gingerly. "I might become a social worker," she admits, voice soft. "And help kids that can't get out." Which is true, because she's been doing a lot of thinking recently about what the rest of her life holds for her, and Eloise can't escape this career path. Especially not when she can prevent this from happening to somebody else. And when Jonah had taken her to visit all those children, it's been heavy on her shoulders.

Parker grins. "That's perfect, El," she praises. "You'll be amazing there."

"God," Chase groans. "I can't wait to graduate. Maybe I'll become a therapist myself and then sue the one my parents hired for all the shit he put through my brain."

Laying on her towel, Eloise doesn't even blink. "You should," she agrees coldly. "He's worthless, anyways."

"You're terrifying," Rory tells her, but she doesn't look too bothered. Instead, the four of them claim that they're not getting their hair wet but eventually get slammed down by the choppy seas (except for Eloise, because there's no way in hell she'll ever get her curls soaked when it's natural). "Remind me never to get on your bad side, okay?"

At that, Eloise cracks a smile and lets Parker tie the back of her grey-colored bathing suit that's about to become undone. "I missed you," she says unexpectedly, eyes widening when all sets of eyes turn around at the same time curiously. "And you're always there for me whenever I need you—that's unreal."

Chase frowns and pulls her into a hug, ignoring the small sound that escapes Eloise's mouth. "Don't say that," she chastises. "It sounds like you're saying goodbye."

And maybe she is, but Eloise just nods and hugs her back with everything she has, enjoying the simplistic scene ahead of her: the sun, the sky, and the sand. For a moment, everything looks like it's going to be alright.

***

They don't leave the pier until midnight, and Eloise decides to visit Sunrise—the smoothie bar that Jonah had taken her to for the first time—only to be slightly disappointed when she doesn't find the same dark-haired boy working there. She knows that he and Jonah are closer friends than what she'd initially thought and it would've been nice to see a familiar face around here, but Eloise orders her same drink and settles on the small tables outside. And as her eyes flicker around the decorative, glossy surfboards, she comes across the wall covered in polaroid photos—it takes her a few minutes to find it, but when she does, Eloise smiles delicately as she sees her own face pressing a kiss to her boyfriend's.