A chat-fic written like an actual group chat because chat-fics which are written in a way that no group chat would ever exist ever really piss me off :)
Erskine.Ravel.Official added the_real_Skulduggery_Pleasant, Gal.in.Black, Bespoke's_Tailors_Official, sword.wielding.bisexual, Midnight.Hotel.Official, _SaracenRue_, Vexter_Dexter, China.Sorrows, XxClarabellexX, Mdme.Mist, Reverie_Synedoche, _Tipstaff and _Nye_
Erskine Ravel, Irish Grand Mage: As requested in our last poll, the Irish Sanctuary has taken to the means necessary to keep communication between employees modern and swift. I appreciate you all taking the time to download this app, Instagram, so we may have the first ever official Irish Sanctuary "group chat". We would ask all participants to keep this new chat strictly work related. Please do not hesitate to get in touch if you have any queries.
The Midnight Hotel: Why am I here?
Madame Mist, Irish Elder: I agree with whom I presume to be Mr Shudder. The Dead Men are not Sanctuary operatives and should have no place in an official "group chat". I request Mr Shudder, Rue, Vex and Miss Sorrows be removed. I am of half mind to request the removal of Miss Low but, due to her extensive services to the Irish Sanctuary, I shall settle for requesting she change her rather pompous username (sword.wielding.bisexual) to something more formal as she is representing our Sanctuary. Sincerely, Madame Mist.
Sword Lady™: Stick in the mud much.
Also, my username isn't "pompous", it's accurate so suck it.
Also, you don't need to sign your name at the end of messages. WE KNOW IT'S FROM YOU BECAUSE FOR ONE THING, NO ONE ELSE TEXTS LIKE THAT.
Also, why are Ghastly and Shudder on their business accounts?
The Midnight Hotel: This is the only account I have. It's the only one I need.
Madame Mist, Irish Elder: Grand Mage, please remove your associates this instant. Not only do they not need to be here, but Miss Low is exercising brutish and unseemly behaviour and vocabulary that is neither endorsed nor supported by our council. If this is the standard the Irish Sanctuary holds itself to then we all ought to be ashamed of ourselves. You realise it is this behaviour that causes such distrust of us in the Supreme Council? I expect strict disciplinary measures in place. Sincerely, Madame Mist. (I shall be continuing to sign my name at the end if these messages as the fact that it irks Miss Low so is highly amusing.) With grave regard, Madame Mist.
Sword Lady™: Oh you wanna fucking go, spider lady?
It doesn't "iRk"me ffs. It's just weird and unnecessary.
Erskine Ravel, Irish Grand Mage: Tanith, please.
Mist, I have certainly thought about your remarks of whether or not my friends should be on this chat. I came to the conclusion that they have come in handy more than once and as such, may find it useful to know what's going on. I trust these people with my life (not you though, China. Sorry) so I don't see why we can't trust them with a group chat.
Val: Lol, if it bugs you so much why don;t you just remove them yourself?
Bespoke's Tailors: Valkyrie, Tanith please. Don't annoy her
Val: Dex, Saracen we can see you've read the messages. Talk to us, dammit.
The Vexter: Lol, hi Val
Saracen Rue: I have no idea what's happening
The Midnight Hotel: You never have an idea what's happening
YOU ARE READING
Skulduggery Pleasant- One-shots and Drabbles
FanfictionJust a collection of some random stuff I write. There will be some pairings but not loads, examples: Ghanith, Dexkyrie, Valitsa, Tanguine, Valguine and any others I feel like :3. There may be Valduggery, there may not be. Requests are open and welco...
