SMILE ✔︎

J O U R N A L

J O U R N A L

hi... this chapter gets explicit. Love y'all. I'm sorry about the wait but I've been really busy with school
:( I'm taking 5 ap periods this year 

I have four uploads ready and a lot more written, I'm writing the climax right now! So here's the four!

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J U L Y 1 9 9 8

"Why wouldn't you just let me walk home alone..." I mumble out.

"Cause Seb and stupid fucking guys are out here"

Don't pay attention to it Kelca...

Don't pay attention to the hand on your hip...

Don't pay attention to him looking down at you and walking by your side.

Don't pay attention to your swelling heart or how it's beating so fast. Or how his voice was soothing me even though I wanted to stay away from him.

I don't wanna love him.

I should've stayed in the day I met him. I should've followed the plan in every other house I was in. I shouldn't have fallen into his arms. I shouldn't have slept next to him or gone to the movie theater with him or laughed with him or skated with him.

And god damnit I shouldn't have smiled at him for that fucking Polaroid because I think that was when it happened.

That was the day I think it happened...

The day when he pointed that camera at me and Koa, looking at me the entire time, and took a few pictures of us. The day when he tried to hide his smile.

And the day when I watched him staring at the picture next to his locker, looking between us and the picture with a dreamy look.

I mean of course he was probably looking at the super model that Koa is, but I like to think he was looking at me.

I looked away at that point because a blush had crawled over my face and I was truly embarrassed.

I was embarrassed cause my only thoughts were filled with how beautiful he was, and how the pink sky lit his tan skin up like a firework in a dark sky and let alone looking like a firework he gave me fireworks in my stomach daily.

Oh god... I'm not okay.

"What is Seb gonna do? Kiss me? Like anybody would care-"

Royce sighs, cutting me off while he looks around the dark sidewalks. He turns me towards him at a streetlight so our faces are dimly lit, "listen here you little whore," he says, grabbing onto my jaw tightly.

It wasnt a scary type of talking, he was more so flirting in an aggressive way. And I liked it...

"First off, I just pushed you against a wall and made out with you just for you to ignore me for the last ten minutes and I would still care if anybody else laid a single finger on you. Jack tried to lay down with you today and I kicked him out. He put his head on your lap at the bench and I death stared him for an hour. I. Would. Care. Secondly, in junior year before I got my man period and grew the fuck up Sebastian stole my girl. Maybe I didn't fuck her or maybe I didn't love her enough but either way that's not happening with you So maybe I'm a little protective over you even though you're giving me nothing back, but it's because I want you to myself. You're not gonna get anybody else here except me, Kelca."

I didn't know then... but that girl that Sebastian stole was Koa... and he was still stuck on her and her smile and everything about her..