Where We Left Off

Chapter Fifteen - Where We Confess

            Fifteen

        Where We Confess

        “Just step on the gas, Stevie.”

            Jacoby’s voice is too far away for me to reach. My hands are gripping the steering wheel so tightly that they’re going numb and I can no longer feel the leather surface on my skin. Screams echo in my mind and loud, scraping noises of metal collapsing on itself.

            “Stevie?”

            It’s my fault. It’s my entire fault that the accident happened and I have to pay the price. I can’t endanger anyone else, and certainly not Jacoby.

            “Hey,” Jacoby murmurs, prying my hand from the steering wheel. He takes it in his hand as if it’s a jewel and places his other palm on top of mine to cradle it. “It’s okay. Just gently step down on the gas and you’ll be fine.”

            I shake my head no. I want to tell him to forget it and I’m sorry he’s going to this trouble, but I can’t find the words. I haven’t’ sat in the driver’s seat before since the accident and I never thought I would be here, in control of a car, again.

            “I can’t, Jacoby,” I finally choke out. His eyes meet my glassy ones and he sighs, frustrated.

            “I think you should tell me what’s going on.” I rip my gaze away but his eyes stay staring at me. I can feel them watching my every move as I take in every detail of the floor. “Stevie,” he whispers, dropping my hand and moving his fingers to my cheek, “you can’t hold whatever this is in all this time. It will just make things worse, trust me.”

            I close my eyes, causing a tear to fall. Jacoby wipes it away with one of his fingers that are brushing my skin. “But…I don’t…I don’t know how.”

            “I know how you feel.” Jacoby lowers his head, letting his hair create a wall in front of his face that I can’t see through. “There’s something I haven’t told you and I want to, but it’s hard to get the words out.”

            Immediately a little bell of fear starts ringing in my head, so loud that I want to cover my ears. Is Dove pregnant again? Is there another love child I’m not aware of? Is there some secret he’s been hiding from me because he knows it’s only going to hurt me more than he already has?

            “Stevie,” he murmurs. He raises his head and grabs my hands tightly. “After you left…After you left…” He’s right; he can’t seem to get the words out. And the one’s that he does manage to choke up worry me even more as to what he has to tell me.

            “If you tell me I’ll tell you.” Despite what may hurt me that he’s about to say, I need to know. And maybe telling him my secret will help me.

            “Okay.” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes as he does so. His hands are trembling as they hold mine tightly, causing my arms to shake. “Stevie,” he whispers, taking another deep breath. “After you left, my mom died.”