Under Your Skin

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I feel ashamed.

I've been so self-absorbed, so lost in my own world, that I didn't realise Jonas's funeral was today, after last class. I almost missed it, and if not for Bolin and Mako I probably would have. They literally had to stop me in the hallway after I'd taken a shower, both donned in smart, black suits, asking me why I wasn't ready yet.

What surprises me is that I'm actually crying, along with everyone else. Sure, I feel like shit that Jonas died, but it didn't affect me, I didn't even know him. But now that I'm here, seeing just how many people did know him, and just how many people have been hit so hard by this, I have to wonder - when did I get so cold, and so damn heartless? Everyone from cube five is here, as well as most of four and three, and it's pouring with rain, rain that masks our tears as we listen to Jonas's friends and family speak their farewells.

His parents wanted the funeral here in the end, and they're stood over by their son's coffin, dressed head to toe in black like the rest of us, watching, crying as he's lowered into a hole in the ground. They spoke first, said he had a lot of friends here, more than back home, and looking around I can see that it's true. He was only twenty-one, and had advanced to cube five pretty early, which is why most of those who get up to speak are from cube four, his previous classmates.

And now Lia's moved over to be with his parents, the mother is holding her close, and they're all crying, together. I wonder why she's over there. She's the girl we found during the werebat attack, cowering under a table, the one that Yena made friends with. She stands with Jonas's parents, doesn't move away, and that's when I realise that they're her parents, too.

"Shit, she's..."

"His sister, yeah," Yena sighs, standing at my side, softly shaking his head, and I grit my teeth, thinking maybe I'll try talk to her later, after the dust settles. She doesn't know me, but looks like we both suffered loss at the same age. Seventeen.

Once those closest to Jonas have spoken, I walk up to the casket to pay my own respects, just after Bolin and Mako have finished. I run my hand across the smooth, polished coffin lid, wiping rain from it, and I'm surprised to notice I feel anger above all else. Anger at the injustice of this, but mainly anger at myself. I'm the fucking Avatar! I should have been able to prevent this! I need to get stronger. I will get stronger.

I furrow my brows and clench my fists as I walk away, making a silent vow to Jonas that nobody else will die here, not a single soul, not on my watch.

"You okay, Kor?" Mako asks when I return to stand with the group. Everyone's here, but Jinora, Opal and Kai didn't really know Jonas. Still, they came out of respect.

"I'm good. But, uh, sorry, back in a minute," I say darting towards Asami when I spot her, stood with her two friends, Leanne and Dayla.

"Asami, can I talk to you a sec?" I ask.

"Huh? Sure. Back in a min," she says, and Leanne looks at me in what can only be described as absolute disgust. I suppose it'll take a while until I'm forgiven for fact that I'm the reason Asami is walking around with a nose bandage.

We walk away from everyone else so that we can talk privately.

"I think your friend hates me," I chuckle, "not that I blame her."

"Oh she's fine. Just over-protective," Asami says, glancing back at Leanne, then over towards the coffin, sighing. "I feel bad for the kid's family... I just wish I'd gotten there sooner," she says, hugging her long, black jacket around herself. Her thick black hair is matted in wet strands, stuck against her face, soaked through from the heavy rainfall.

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