I object ~slowburn

13| Roses

•Harry's POV•

I never thought I'd live to see the day when Draco Malfoy would show his vulnerability.

In a strange sense it made me warm up to him a bit.
The guarded nature of him was always so off putting. It made him unapproachable.

Eventually his cries were reduced to sniffles and he popped his head up from our... hug? Was that it?

"Sorry I don't usually do that," he rubbed the back of his neck.

"What, cry?"

"Yeah, after all Malfoy's show no weakness and all that," he rolled his eyes.

The red puffy cheeks and the swollen nose mirrored myself a few months ago, staring in the mirror. That was before I started to self medicate with alcohol. Then I didn't feel much of anything.

"Do you want to go back inside?" I asked hesitantly.

He shook his blonde head and perched himself on the side of the raised plant bed.

"These used to be roses and they were all sorts of colors," he gestured the soil, "green too, kind of like your eyes,"

I sucked in a breath. Why did I suddenly feel like I was out of air?

"We should plant some stuff too," I said without thinking.

"Yeah we should," he rested his chin in his hands.
It was a peaceful day. It wasn't too hot and it wasn't too cold. The occasional cloud drifted over the sun, casting a shadow over us for a minute or so.

I missed feeling this kind of aliveness. It was refreshing and made me almost want to never pick up the bottle again. It wasn't that easy, of course.

"Harry, where did you go?"

Ah the question of the hour.

I didn't want anyone knowing about it. It made me seem helpless... which I was..

"Do you really want to know?" I stalled.

"Yes I've asked you about a hundred times,"

"I..," I struggled for the words. Saying them out loud would just solidify exactly how meager I was. Maybe it was time to accept it and to stop being selfish.

"Knockturn Alleys, bars, waking up in dark streets not knowing where I was," I said.

His silvery eyes bore into mine.

"You've been drinking yourself away for the past three months?" He didn't look convinced.

"Yeah how do you think my nose got to be this way? It was a bar fight,"

"Come here," he said sternly. The authoritative tone in his voice pulled me over to him.

With a wave of a wand, my nose cracked. I ran my fingers over it, it was now set back into place.

"Thanks..." I said, still gripping my nose.

"You aren't going back to wherever you were," he told me.

"But I can't stay here forever,"

In a second he reached an arm over my body and had me pinned to the flower beds.

"Who says you can't?" He whispered.

I couldn't move, even if I wanted to. And in every passing second he was getting closer... and closer... and-

An owl crashed into his back sending us to the ground.

I shifted under the weight of Draco and the owl. Draco groaned, a little too close to my ear, stirring something in my stomach that I couldn't forget.

"This is the same fucking owl as last time," he grumbled. He held Errol arms length away from him in disgust.

"Stop being mean to the owl and open the letter," I scolded him. Poor Errol, he crashed into the wrong surly blonde.

"I'm not being mean!" He said defensively.

I pointed at the owl.
"Look there's tears in his eyes,"

Draco got into Errols face.
"Are you sure those aren't cataracts?"

"Wait are they?" I went to grab the owl.

After the casual tossing back and forth of Errol, he sliced open the letter.

Draco skimmed the letter before holding out to me, with the same distaste that I saw him give Errol.

I unfolded it curiously.

Dearest Harry,

I heard of your breakdown and I am so sorry. I should've been there to stop it. I should be  there, for you. I know that by now you know of how I felt before our wedding.
I wish it didn't play out like it did but Harry-
I'm still in love with you and I don't think I'll ever stop being in love with you. Please, come back and we can fix the pieces- together

Love, Ginny

I squinted at the familiar, neat penmanship. Three months of nothing and then she waltzes back like nothing ever happened? Like she could just slap a bandaid over the pain that she caused me?

But that's exactly what I did, except to my friends.

Ginny and I really were alike in more aspects than one.

I let the paper fall from my hands and I blinked at it from above.

How was I supposed to feel? Did I ever even love her or did I convince myself so?

"Harry?"
I jumped, forgetting that Draco was beside me, watching to see my reaction.

"This is sick," I spat.

"The letter?"

"I don't think I ever loved her,"

There. I said it. It was out in the air.

"Really?"

I could practically see the satisfied grin on his face, without even looking.

The very idea that I could perfectly sculpt Draco's face in my head was alarming.

Man, I really should figure out how I feel about him.