Saying Goodbye (Inspired by true events)

Chapter 19 (The End)

                Chapter 19

I laid there restlessly inside my bed at the loft. How could I pick between Nick and Riley? Two extraordinary men that somehow found themselves in love with me. I closed my eyes desperately trying to sleep until I heard my cellphone ring. I saw that it was Riley so I answered it.

“Hello?”

“Ali, can we talk?” Riley’s voice was unsteady it sounded as though he might have been drinking.

“Of course.” I added feeling relieved to hear his voice.

“I’m leaving.” Riley simply added without any explanation.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” I asked starting to worry.

“I just can’t do this. Ali, I love you so much and I see what this is doing to you. We wouldn’t even be in this situation if it wasn’t for me, plus I can’t handle being your second choice  again.” The last part of what he said sounded so heartbroken and convinced that I had already made up my mind.

“So that’s it you’re just going to leave?” I added feeling my grip on the phone tighten.

“Well what other choice do I have?” Riley pleaded feeling like he had just lost everything.

“Stay here!” I begged.

“ And what? Wait until you tell me that you’re sorry but you can’t live without Nick.”

“Riley, I can’t live without you either.” My voice started to shake I wasn’t nearly as stable as I had felt only hours previously.

“Do you know who you want to be with?” At first I thought that Riley was just bluffing to try to coerce me into making a decision or even more so to have me choose him. I gave my head a shake Riley wouldn’t do that, despite him betraying me I truly believed his intentions weren’t to make my life as miserable as it turned out.

“I... I’m not sure, I just need a bit more time. Just please don’t leave. Give me ten minutes to get there I need to at least talk to you in person.” I hoped that he would give me a few minutes just to talk with him, even if I had no clue what I would say.

Riley was quiet thinking it over before he let out a long frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry Ali, if you really wanted to be with me the way I want to be with you then you wouldn’t be so undecided. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to you, especially giving up on you because I made a promise and it turns out I can’t keep it.”

Those were the last words I heard come out of Riley’s mouth before he hung up. I frantically redialed his number over and over again but it was turned off. I was looking around frantically for my wallet, I would have to take a cab and try to reason with him because he couldn’t leave. When I tossed clothing aside and couldn’t find it, I searched the dressers for any kind of cash- just enough to get there. When I couldn’t find anything my shaking became tremors and I fell onto the floor and cried so much harder than I ever had in my life. I thought losing Nick affected me but loosing Riley felt like it had just ripped my heart out. Sitting on my knees on the floor, being the complete mess that I was realized something really important; I wanted to be with Riley.

I pulled out my cellphone and called Riley several times only to have the phone ring continuously. I looked at my display picture of us on my phone and wiped away the tears so my vision was less blurry. I was looking at this all wrong, I loved Nick so much I believed that I loved him the most because I was willing to kill myself to be with him, but I kept living for Riley. He was the reason I kept living.

*Flashback*

Before I knew what hit me I heard the front door burst open and footsteps approaching the door. I sat pulling my legs towards me with the blanket over top of me so my cuts weren't visible. I had a sick feeling in my stomach that it was Riley but I didn't want him to see me like this.