Forever Running

Forever Running | Chapter One

"You learned to run from what you feel, and that's why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control."

― Megan Chance, The Spiritualist

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The wind blew harshly against my skin and let my long dark hair whip behind me fiercely as I ran faster into the darkness towards the light. I felt my heart beat twice as fast as my legs moving. My eyes blurred and I suddenly found it hard to breath. I looked behind me as I ran to see if it was chasing me, but I saw nothing. When I turned back around it felt as if my chest was being torn into two. Soon, a sharp pain jolted along my legs and I suddenly started to lose speed. I squinted to see if the light was still there. My head began to spin and soon my vision completely disappeared. My running quickly turned into a fast jog, then a slow walk. Eventually I stopped running all together and stood there panting. I felt it coming closer and closer then...

I woke up with a start. I sat up in the old large bed that I shared with my younger sister Alania.

"Dammit!" I whispered, "Same dream again." For the past three years I've been having the same terrifying dream of being chased by something. The problem was that I had no idea what the something was, and I had no intension of ever finding out. I laughed at myself. I live in one of the worst towns in the city, and one thing I'm afraid is my nightmare.

I looked over to Alania to see if I woke her. She laid sound asleep and I watched her softly snore comfortably. She surprised me every time. Every night I would toss and turn restlessly in this small old apartment, and yet Alania could always sleep comfortably in this disgusting place.

I turned to face the alarm clock which read 5:28 am. I slowly rolled out of my bed trying not to wake Alania up. I tipped toed over to the washroom, brushed my teeth and took a really quick shower trying not to use too much hot water. When I was done, I walked slowly to the kitchen to prepare my lunch as well as Alania's.

My mother and father were both asleep and so was my oldest brother Troy. He slept on the living room couch. I watched him sleep from the kitchen and wondered how much he drank last night. Or how mom and dad handled that situation.

As I spread some peanut butter on a piece of bread I heard a sound. I whipped my head in Troy's direction to see if he had woken up, but he still laid there asleep. I heard the sound again but down the hall. I put the butter knife down and poked my head down the short hallway, and saw nothing. I returned to spread peanut butter on the bread.

I finished making Alania's lunch along with mine and decided to grab our lunch boxes. I fetched the old and tattered lunch boxes and began putting the food in them when I felt a cold hand grab my shoulder. I quickly turned around with a loud yelp.

"Whoa! Relax Destiny, it's only me." said mother. "When have you begun being so jumpy?" Her messy black hair indicated that she has just woken up. She wore her very thin and old pyjamas that were a size larger than her and hung loosely around her sickly thin body. I remembered how those used to fit her. When she always had a smile on her face framed by her perfect rosy cheeks. When she always laughed and made everyone else laugh too. That was a different time. I watched her standing in front of me with her pale skin and her infections smile replaced by a confused look across her face.

"Nothing....I mean, I'm not being jumpy...I just thought you were Troy." I replied.

My mother sighed and shook her head. I guessed that she and dad didn't have an easy going conversation with Troy last night. She didn't say anything back to me so I continued to pack Alania's lunch. As I put her lunch box in her bag I began to wonder about Troy.

Troy was only eighteen years old. The dumbest and most disgraceful eighteen year old in history. He totally and completely lost any sort of care for school, he consistently takes drugs and smokes anything he could find, he brings a different girl home every weekend and resents my parents completely. I thought it was just a stage for his age, but the chaos continued. He dropped out of school and got into serious trouble with the law. It was then I thought he just hated us, or himself, or just the fact that were living in poverty....or maybe he misses Brook....?

I shook my head and got rid of all my thoughts. The only thing important to me now is to get through school and get out of this home, and live the life that I want. A typical sixteen year old girl's dream.

I called down Alania, and once she was ready I handed her the small lunch box.

"Let's go, or we'll be late." I prompt her. She gave me an annoyed look.

"Destiny! I'm ten years old, I could get on the school bus on my own." She whined. I sighed and pushed her out the door. She turned back around to face me and gave me another dirty look. For a ten year old girl who is living in these conditions, she had some attitude.

After I sent Aliana to her school, I walked to mine. It was a 40 minute walk to school. Sure, I would prefer to get to school quicker but I would do anything to get away from the school bus. Our family didn't own a car, at least recently, and I had bad experiences with school buses. I was never the kind of person to ever make a good impression, make friends instantly and have any sort of people skills my entire life. As a result, I always ended up being picked on, teased, or bullied on a daily basis. As much as this had bothered me, I got used to it considering it has been happening to me since I was in pre-kindergarden.

With this thought, I'm not completely friendless, I had a friend named Dana. She was nice, compassionate, and as shocking as this is, saw the value in me as a person. But I knew it was too good to be true and with that, Dana moved to a better city and we never spoke since. Sometimes I thought she just felt sorry for me and only stood by me so she could feel like she was doing some sort of good deed. She was a strong girl, kept the pain away and watched over me, almost like a guardian angel.

I finally made to school and I watched as the students walked into the school. I walked up to the large school doors and took a deep breath before I walked in, fearful for what might await me inside.

Is it too late to have another guardian angel?