sky ⬥ ashton irwin

zero.

"It's okay. Remember, the sky is crying"

There was a short silence before Ashton could answer through his tears. His breathing was unsteady and his eyes were glassy, but when he finally spoke, his voice was steady.

"Who is it crying about?"

"Us"

***

A long time ago, when things were just getting started, Esme was struggling. Her best friend had recently gotten the diagnosis of depression and a severe anxiety disorder after trying to kill himself. The whole thing had caused a trauma that sent him into awful panic attacks every time he heard rain or worse, a thunderstorm. Although he seemed to be getting better, Esme saw his pain, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

The illness was driving them apart. She could feel Ashton floating away from her, slipping through her fingers like sand. And she was scared; not just for their friendship, but for him. Ashton was going to a dark place, and she could neither stop him nor follow him.

But on a stormy day in October, Esme found a way back in, a way back to him. It was early evening, and the clear sky had only just given way to rain, when she got a panicked call from Anne, Ashton's mother. She couldn't form a coherent sentence, but the words "Ashton" and "panic attack" were enough for Esme to hang up and rush out into the rain.

The Irwin's only lived a few houses down, and the moment Esme could see their house, she could see Ashton. He was on the ground, a few feet from the Irwin estate, as though he was just about to go back home. His hands were on his ears, and although it could have been the rain, she was sure that he was crying.

As she neared the 15-year-old boy, Esme could see how much he was shaking, that he was gasping for breath. Anne was standing close, calling things out to her son, desperately trying to help him. When her eyes found Esme, she was begging for her to do something.

Esme's eyes wandered toward the Irwin's front door, where she could see Harry's small frame watching the scene. Ashton's little brother was only 5 years old, but he had noticed that there was something different about his brother.

"Anne", she called out, "go take Harry inside. He shouldn't see Ashton like this"

Anne looked at Esme for a very long second, before nodding, seemingly relieved that someone was telling her what to do. Although Anne had always meant well and did her best to look out for her children, she was incredibly overwhelmed, especially since Ashton had gotten so sick.

Anne left and Esme took an incredibly deep breath before stepping toward her best friend. She didn't know what to do at first. If she should touch him, if he could even hear her.

"Ashton", she finally tried, and after a moment once again, "Ash"

Ashton didn't react. The rain by now had flattened his curly hair to his forehead, and his shirt was sticking to his upper body. Esme took another step toward him and then decided to sit down.

"Ash, I need you to listen to my voice, okay?" No reaction.

"I know you're scared. But if you just listen to me instead of the rain, and if you just take deep breaths, I can tell you a story", for the first time since Esme had arrived, Ashton showed any sign at all that he was aware of her presence. He took his hands from his ears.

Esme's heart skipped a beat and she scrambled for words, not wanting to fail him. When she started talking, it felt like the rain around them quieted down, and she knew that Ashton was listening, even though he wouldn't look at her.

"A long time ago, before any humans walked the earth, the sky had a soul and a body, and it occupied our planet. It was gentle and loving, and all other souls that met the sky, however small, were enchanted by it.

For a long time, the sky was happy by itself. But centuries passed and it started feeling lonely. Until it found a companion in the sea, and the two were happy with one another. That was, until both sky and sea decided that the earth should be graced with more life, that more souls should get to enjoy its beauty. And they gave up their places to allow humans to see the world.

And still, even today, they are watching us. They enjoy our happiness and feel our pain, and when it is raining, it means that the sky is crying"

Esme took a deep breath and finally dared to touch Ashton's hand. And for the first time he looked up. Esme's heart contracted at the sight of him. His formerly bright, hazel eyes were now glassy, exhausted and he didn't look as young as 15.

"It's crying?", Ashton asked, in a voice so small she could barely hear it. Esme just nodded, smiling softly. "What is it crying about?"

"Well, the sky and the sea, when they gave up their life on earth, they also gave up being together. They did it because they had their own lifetime of happiness, and they knew by letting go, they could give this happiness to others.

And so, when they see that us humans, who they wanted to give their happiness to, are suffering, they start crying. That means right now, the sky is crying about you, Ash"

Ashton's eyes were still filled with tears when he reached out. He softly touched Esme's cheek, and suddenly she realized that she had been crying, too.

"Us", Ashton corrected, "The sky is crying about us, then."

Esme smiled and nodded. "Us"