Pirate (LGBT - Sci-Fi - Romantic)

Chapter Twenty Five

Chapter Twenty Five 

By morning the worm of guilt had grown into a full size snake, coiled in the middle of his stomach.  

He looked at the beautiful man, sleeping naked beside him, their shorts had long disappeared somewhere at the bottom of the bed, and tried to ignore it. There was no way he was going to ruin his last day with Conn, sabotage the memory of their friendship. He would bury the guilt for today, there'd be plenty of time to wallow in it later after Conn had left. 

Conn had been so generous, giving as much as he could, while he had been a selfish, manipulating bastard, who- No! He wasn't going to go there. He had taken advantage of a wonderful gift and that's all there was to it. He was grateful, not guilty. Gently he pulled the cover up over both of them and eased back a fraction, giving Conn the illusion of privacy when he woke. 

He kissed him gently on the lips, "Time to wake up, sleepy head. It's morning, you don't hate me do you?" He asked, covering his genuine fear with a joke. 

Connell opened his eyes and did a quick double take as memories of the previous night rushed into his head. Had he really-? He was naked, in bed with Nick. Yep, it sure looked like he had! 

He blinked. How much rum had he had to drink last night? Truthfully he wasn't at all sure how he felt at the moment. Nick was starting to look really worried. He summoned up a smile, "No, I don't hate you ... but I think I need to get up and get dressed." 

"Of course," Nick hid his disappointment with another smile. What had he expected? A morning full of wild sex? He knew that wasn't going to happen, but a man could hope couldn't he? 

It dawned on him then, that Conn was reluctant to get out of the bed naked, in front of him. He gave a wry smile, he hadn't been so shy a few hours ago! 

Don't be greedy, just be grateful for what you had, he reminded himself. "I'll have first shower, then," he offered, getting out of bed and disappearing into the cubicle. 

Conn got up immediately, searching for his boxers. He put them on then went back into the other room and got dressed. Instantly he felt better, more in control, he would have a shower later, when Nick had left. He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. He could remember pretty much everything that had happened, in rather too much vivid detail. Although at this precise minute the memories were making him embarrassed and uncomfortable, there had been at least a couple of times last night when he had been carried away, where he had just felt the heat of the moment.  

An image of his hands fisting tight in Nick's long hair popped into his head and he blushed crimson. Oh god! How could he face him again? He leapt to his feet and started to pace furiously around the small room. He had to come to terms with what he'd done before he saw him again, it wasn't Nick's fault he was struggling to cope.  

Maybe a session in the gym would help. He left Nick a brief message and went straight to the gym, ignoring questioning looks from the crew as he passed, hoping to work off his concerns on the equipment.  

Pushing his body hard, he tried to reason his way through the storm of mixed emotions. He could handle it, it wasn't as if he'd had sex with another man just for the sake of it, he'd had sex with Nick who loved him, a one off night, never to be repeated. 

So what if he'd been a bit turned on, that was good, right? Nick was a sexy man, it would have been weirder if he'd just lain there like a log all night. He needed to chill out, accept that the night had happened, it was over, and move on. When he'd seen that report, that Nick had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, he had just wanted to give him something, and that something had been himself.