The Roarhaven Institution - Skulduggery Pleasant School AU

Year One- Chapter One

It was the first day of a new school year and the Roarhaven Institution had a whole new batch of Year Sevens to keep them entertained. Little did they know this year group would grow to be some of the most notorious students the school would ever know. And be the cause of many of the teachers' nervous breakdowns and headaches over the next seven years. For this year group was home of the clique that would soon come to be known as the Dead Men.

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"-and we have provided sufficient tuck for when you need it. You are to hand over the box to your house master you hear? We do not want you spending your nights eating rather than studying."

"Or sleeping," Skulduggery's mother cut in, "it is imperative you get all the sleep you need at this school, otherwise your grades will suffer. Do you understand?" Skulduggery murmured in response. His father threw a cold look at him "You answer your mother properly, boy." Skulduggery cleared his throat and looked up for the first time since the conversation started. "Yes, Mother. Sorry, Father." His mother nodded. "Better. Now, once we drop you off and have been introduced to your house master we will..." Skulduggery wasn't listening anymore. His eyes were on the monstrosity of a building that was emerging over the hilled horizon. The Roarhaven Institution stood proudly and menacingly over the dainty town around it. The wrought iron gates and the stark towers cast strange shadows over the hilly landscape. Even from here, he could see the little people running around the grounds. Unpacking, setting up, settling in. It was, all together, quite a sight to behold.

Skulduggery almost completely tuned out to what his parents were saying for the remainder of the car journey. By now, he had mastered the art of ignoring them without letting them know he was ignoring them. He nodded and hummed in agreement when it felt necessary and took in the bare minimum of information. Before he was ready, the car had pulled to a stop on the gravelled drive. The driver let them out and Skulduggery did his best to hide behind his hair as his bags were carried towards the boarding house. The house master was a portly man by the name of Corrival Deuce. The house was called Eachan House after the school's headmaster, Eachan Meritorious. Mr Deuce shook their hands warmly and offered Skulduggery's parents a cup of tea. They politely declined, all smiles and small talk now they were in the presence of another adult, and soon took their leave. But not before Mr Deuce commented on what a well-behaved, shy boy Skulduggery was. Oh how he would later come to regret that statement.

Skulduggery was shown to his room by a prefect called Geoffrey Scrutinous. A more ridiculous name Skulduggery hadn't heard. Although one called Skulduggery Pleasant could hardly throw stones. Two of his three roommates were already unpacking and lounging on their beds when he arrived. A mousy haired boy with an unremarkable face barely looked up from the drawer he was filling when Skulduggery entered the dorm. But the boy with mischievous golden eyes gave him a smirk and then continued to lie on his bed and do nothing. Skulduggery packed away his belongings quickly and slid the tuck box he hadn't given to Mr Deuce against his parents' orders under his bed. His roommates should have savoured the sight of his bed space in a tidy state. For it never happened again.

Just as the silence between the three boys was becoming awkward, a fourth boy walked in. He was tall and muscular for a year seven. But even that was not the most outstanding this about him. The deep scars that ran symmetrically down the boy's head and face are what really made him stand out. He glanced around the room nervously, for such a big boy he seemed quite skittish. A man and a woman followed him in and helped him unpack, offering polite smiles and greetings to the boys who quietly returned them. Once the adults left, the boys lapsed into silence once again. Then, a sigh "If you hoes are hoping to spend the whole time in awkward silence," he golden eyed boy spoke, leaping up so he was stood on his bed, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint because that sounds boring as hell. You, book boy," he pointed at the mousy haired kid who was reading something called Percy Jackson, "name?" The boy blinked, "Uh, Hopeless."

"Morbid!" the boy chimed happily, he pointed to Skulduggery next, "Long haired one?"

"Skulduggery Pleasant."

"Nice. Weird, but nice. And you?" he finally turned to the scarred boy who turned beetroot red, "Ghastly Bespoke." he murmured. "Ghastly?" the boy repeated "Did your parents call you that before or after all the scars? Because that's harsh." Ghastly's embarrassed look turned to a glare which quickly shut the boy up. "Well, I am Erskine Ravel but you may call me "your majesty", "your eminence", "superior being" any of them work."

"Is "annoying brat" on the table?"Skulduggery asked. Erskine gasped and pointed at him dramatically, "Blasphemy!" he cried. Skulduggery frowned,"What religion-"

"Oh I feel violated. Someone chop his head off! Get him out of my sight!" he flopped down onto his bed and draped his arm over his forehead. Skulduggery grinned, "Oh please, you're a court jester at best." Erskine gasped again and shot up. "How dare you, good sir! You tarnish the Ravel name!" Skulduggery threw a pillow at him, "Maybe the Ravel name was asking for it, for we all know I am the true ruler." Erskine ducked too late and the pillow smacked him right in the face. "Outrageous! You, the one they call Ghastly," he whipped round to Ghastly who was doing his best not to laugh, "I name you royal executioner, have this imposter beheaded!" Ghastly did his best to fix a serious look on his face, it kept sliding off. "I'm not sure my liege. You both claim to be ruler, how can we know which one of you is the true imposter?" They were all stifling giggles now. Except Hopeless, he looked bored. Skulduggery rose up, "Then a fight to the death must be fought for ultimate and absolute rule over the dorm!"

"Agreed," cried Erskine. "A pillow fight to the death! What better way to crown a monarch? Ghastly, you will referee. Hopeless, you will stand there and look pretty." Skulduggery nodded his agreement, "Hopeless is the damsel in distress." Hopeless glared at them.

Skulduggery and Erskine took up positions on their beds and armed themselves with their pillows. Ghastly stood between them but at a safe distance. He raised a hand and the boys prepared for war. Ghastly's hand sliced through the air and Skulduggery and Erskine threw their pillows at the same time. But then Hopeless was in the middle of it all. He caught each pillow in each hand and threw them right back at the two boys. Erskine's pillow caught him square in the chest and Skulduggery's whacked into his face, both boys toppled over. Ghastly froze, Erskine and Skulduggery didn't get up, Hopeless didn't say anything for a moment. Then, he picked a fallen pillow from the floor and raised it above his head. "I am the true king!" He bellowed. The others burst out laughing and quickly fell to their knees in front of him. "All hail the True King!" They chanted. They collapsed into a fit of giggles. None of them were quite sure what had just happened, but they all knew none of them were getting a good night's sleep any time soon.