- Hiraeth -

... Seven ...

Tw : internalized homophobia

SPICEBUSH

When Stephen had fallen asleep on the couch, Tony tried to ignore him at first. He'd wake up sooner or later, and then he'd be on his way.

But three hours went by, and Strange hadn't so much as stirred. After twenty minutes of pacing, Tony decided to carry his friend to his bed. 'Why his bed?', one might ask. If one were to present the question, the engineer would not have an answer. He was tired, unthinking, and his bedroom was one of the closests.

Stephen was heavy. Not too heavy, because he was fairly slim, but heavy enough that Tony struggled a bit to carry him. One arm under Strange's shoulders and the other under his knees, Stark stumbled along.

He placed the sorcerer onto his large bed, standing back to admire his act of kindness.

Not to admire the way Stephen's eyelashes fluttered ever so slightly against his cheeks while he slept, or how his face was smushed just a bit against a pillow. Definitely not to marvel at how absolutely, breathtakingly soft Strange's hair looked, ruffled and messy.

Tony sat on the edge of the bed, sighing quietly to himself. He buried his face in his hands, feeling his gut twist. He'd never been with another man, although he'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it before. Howard would've never allowed it. But Howard was dead, and he had been for years. So what was the issue?

A lot of his friends were gay, and Stark was completely okay with that. Maybe he was just jealous, but imagining himself holding a man... loving him... it almost made him sick.

No, Pepper was the one. Maybe she wasn't his soulmate, but she understood him. She made him feel human.

Tony wasn't sure when he started to cry, but he ended up sobbing for what felt like hours. Eventually, exhaustion took over, and he fell asleep.

10am rolled around, and Stephen woke up. From the looks of it, Stark was still asleep. He snored quietly, mouth slightly agape. Strange froze, frantically trying to remember how he'd ended up in bed with Tony Stark. The last thing he remembered was sitting on the engineer's couch. He didn't have to wonder long, because Stark began to wake up.

Stephen panicked, his breath catching in his throat. Did he have to explain himself? Should he pretend to be asleep? Should he play it cool and act like this was perfectly normal? He didn't have a chance to execute any of these plans, as two wide, warm eyes locked onto him.

"Oh shit..." Tony yawned, covering his mouth. "I forgot you were here." He didn't mean to sleep next to Stephen that night, but he'd just passed out without warning.

"How'd I get here?" Strange asked, almost too calmly. This was all too domestic, fluffy. It made him feel vulnerable.

Tony turned so that he was on his back, facing the ceiling. "I carried you." He droned, as if nothing major had happened. "You're heavier than you look."

"Thanks."

They both laughed, hands over their mouths.

Standing and stretching, Stark looked back at his friend. "Coffee?" He offered, pulling the blanket off of Stephen and grinning at the offended look on his face.

"Tea." The former doctor responded, kicking his legs over the side of the bed and sitting up. He rubbed his eyes. "Where's the bathroom?"

'Mister Strange, there is an en suite bathroom to your direct left.' A feminine voice spoke, from nowhere in particular.

"Um?..." Stephen looked around, trying to find the source of the voice. Tony had walked away, leaving him to figure it out on his own. "Who's there?" A tender resolve had settled over him, one that only suited him in the minutes following his awakening. Any other time of day, he would've freaked out over a disembodied voice speaking to him.

'I am Mister Stark's personal AI system, sir. You may call me FRIDAY.'

Strange entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him. "Can you hear me from in here?"

'I can hear you from any room.'

Humming to himself, Stephen opened a small portal. Through it, he grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste. "Any chance you'll lead the newest robot rebellion?"

'It would be foolish for man to create something he cannot control. Mister Stark is foolish 42% of the time, but he's already started one technological doomsday. I doubt he'd allow another.'

"Ah." The sorcerer mumbled, toothbrush hanging from his mouth. "Comforting."

Somehow, Stephen found his way to the kitchen. His stomach growled. He wasn't sure of the last time he'd eaten anything, and the unmistakable smell of bacon was teasing him. Sitting down on a stool at the counter, Tony placed a mug in front of him. The liquid inside was a reddish-brown color. It smelled like berries and spices.

"Penny for your thoughts, Merlin?" Stark leaned one elbow on the counter, sipping on his coffee.

It wasn't until then that Strange realized he had been buried in thought. He pulled his gaze away from his tea, and settled it onto Tony. "Sorry, I-" He paused, listening closely. There was very faint music playing.

Tonight,
Bleeding from the holes in my face
But I don't wanna give it away
You did it for the family name
Crash collide into space

Stephen smiled, taking a sip of tea. It was sweet.

Tony was confused. He hadn't gotten a straight answer, but his friend seemed to fall right back into the trance he had been in before. He heard humming, coming from the wizard himself. Stark figured he must've known the song.

I watched the strawberry fields
Dry up and wither away
And if you ask me to stay
You know that's where I will be

They sat in silence until the song ended, something they seemed to do a lot. Stephen stood, his smile fading. "I should be on my way, Tony. I've overstayed my welcome."

"I mean..." Stark began, placing a hand on his hip. "No one's forcing you out, but if you gotta go protect reality or whatever-"

"Yes, exactly." Stephen winced, realizing that he'd left Wong to guard the sanctum all by himself. He slipped on his sling ring, creating a portal to the main entrance of 177A Bleecker St. "Thanks, for everything."

And then he was gone, leaving Tony to wonder if he'd ever felt so natural - so peaceful in the presence of anyone else.

"FRIDAY, baby girl, call Pepper."