Laurel and her parents move to a new town in the beginning of her senior year of high school, leaving behind her childhood home, friends and everything she knew. Reserved and guarded from her first love she meets Wes and his friends, a tight knit gr...
My mom dropped me off at Laurel's on her way out to the store. I like Laurel's house, not that I'm too familiar with it but I feel pretty comfortable all things considered. Today when I got here and her dad met me at the door I managed not to call him a cocksucker so that's an improvement. In fact my coprolalia has been pretty mild, only a handful of cuss words slipping out.
Laurel's spread across her bed, a pair of jeans on and a cropped hoodie that's shifted upward giving me a glimpse of the smooth skin of her back as she leans on her elbows. We were watching a movie, a movie I haven't been able to focus on.
Can you blame me?
Laurel's sitting close to me, so close that our arms keep brushing against one another when I tic. I keep thinking maybe I'll grab her hand. It'd be so easy, it'd take nothing. All I'd have to do is shift my hand a little on the white comforter that's spread across her bed, sneaking my hand beneath hers and then that'd be it. We'd be holding hands.
I had myself almost talked into but then her phone started vibrating in rapid succession and she plucked it from the bedside table it sat on and rolled to her stomach.
And I've been pretending like I'm raptured by this movie even though I keep sneaking peeks at her out of the corner of my eye. Taking in the way her eyebrows knit together and the freckles that dot her face. Her lip is caught between her teeth and I can't help but get a sense of dread as I watch her contemplate whatever it is that's on her phone.
I'm not sure if it's dread for me, for her or for us. Not that there's an us.
I want there to be an us. But maybe she doesn't.
God.
What if she has a boyfriend back at her old town? I mean she's never said that she does but she also hasn't said that she doesn't.
Instantly I get the urge to tic, but not just a little tic.
"Fuck off!" I shout but it doesn't fix the itch that's started to spread and they start falling out of me one after another.
It starts with my new one and then I cycle through my usual tics, whistle and then shout again.
"Sorry." Heat rushes to my face.
I'm such an embarrassment.
Her phone meets the bedside table again with a thud and she flips back over and says "don't apologize".
Normally I'd laugh, chuckle slightly when she calls me out on it. It's involuntary on my part basically, sometimes I don't even realize I've said it. But this time I can't even manage a smile.
And even though I should probably just assume I'm friend zoned I can't stop myself from asking "everything okay?". Curiosity getting the better of me.
Air rushes from her lips, arms folded across her chest. Her hands are tucked beneath the opposing arm and I watch her carefully as the gears turn in her mind.
I thought we were closer, maybe that was just in my head too.
"One of my best friends back home is dating my ex." She breathes the words, full of pain and heartache.
So there is a guy back home. Hope starts to crumble in my chest until she laughs through her noise and smiles at me.
"I sort of saw it coming." Her eyes drop to her lap as she continues. "I mean she's why he broke up with me."
He's clearly an idiot. I almost tell her too.
"Why?" But I'm too desperate for more information.
I want to know how much she liked this guy, if she loved him. If I even stand a chance or if I've sold myself a fantasy in my head, one that'll never come true.
Lifting her eyes to mine, the clear blue that they usual are isn't as vibrant like someone sucked all the joy from her.
"She convinced him I was cheating on him. I wasn't." She blurts the last bit of information at me like maybe some part of me might believe that she would cheat. "He was so mad at me, demanding that I just confess to it." She shrugs her shoulders and looks away, her arms tightening around herself like she's trying to hold all the pieces together. "So I told him I did."
I'm trying not to tic because I don't want to interrupt her, not now. Not when she's telling me this.
"I don't know why. It' s stupid right?" When she looks at me again all the air rushes from my lungs and I get momentarily distracted at the sight of her blue eyes filled with tears that I tic. She doesn't acknowledge it, continuing on. "But whatever, he broke up with me and now he's dating her."
The movie is running in the background, completely forgotten. I'm trying to sort through thoughts to find the right thing to say while I focus on keeping my tics at bay and it makes me slow to respond.
"I'm fine though." Laurel says, her spine straightening a little as she shakes away all of the pain and sadness that had filled her moments before. "Do you want to go get ice cream?"
She's already clambering off her bed, smiling at me as she goes but I can't just let her breeze over this. Right? I need to acknowledge it or something.
Clearing my throat, my plan is to tell her I'm sorry but my head jerks to the side twice first and then I whistle. So I try a different approach.
"Sure ice cream sounds good." I tell her, standing up too, she's almost to her bedroom door about to yank it open and I realize I've almost lost my moment to say something. "But Laurel?"
Her hand pauses on the silver doorknob, looking back at me with slight hesitation.
"I'm sorry they did that to you." Hopefully it's something but more importantly I hope what I say next doesn't completely backfire on me. "But I'm sort of glad you don't have a boyfriend anymore."
She just stares at me. Gees Wesley, should have kept that one to yourself probably. No matter how true it is.
My tics are starting to backlog and even though I can't imagine how anyone would ever want to deal with me especially if I'm not suppressing I give in and cycle through my normal ones.
But then I watch this smile pull Laurel's face into a grin, her blue eyes bright and electric like a warm summer sky and even if she doesn't like me back that's fine. At least for the moment she's looking at me like this.
She reaches her hand out toward me and I take it. I'm not stupid. I've only been dying to hold her hand for weeks now.
"So am I."
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Wes is a doll 😍.
Who's ready for number 2?
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