Lumps

Stupid Idea

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?!" Jake howls, hand on his cheek, eyes narrowed in anger or pain... Both.

"What, you know you deserved it."

"IT WAS AN IDEA! ONE FUCKING IDEA!!! It's not like I was forcing you guys to actually do it for gods sakes."
To this, we roll our eyes.

"Jake, when you someone says 'idea' it means they're thinking about doing it. Therefore; it makes absolutely no sense to say for you to say it because we all know it's something you're gonna do, with our help or not. Again." I huff at him, crossing my arms and throwing him a pointed look.

"And if we don't help, guess who ends up in trouble anyways?" Katie adds and points one finger at herself and one at me, "Yea, that's right. Us.
"So when you bring up another brilliantly stupid 'idea' that we all know we're gonna end up doing, you deserve a slap in the face. Simple as that."

I nod at the end of her speech, an approving smirk playing on my lips as I turn to Jake, still standing with his hand on his cheek looking at us like we're the stupidest people on the entire planet.

I dunno. I think it was a pretty good choice of punishment, and on the spot too! Actually, knowing Katie, she's probably fantasized many times of inflicting pain on Jake. I know I have too.

Yep, best friend of the year award goes to me. I'm actually not that great a friend though, to be honest. I know like I seem like the greatest person to ever walk the Earth, but contrary to popular belief, I am not perfect.

I know. Shocking.

"You know, I don't even know why we're friends." Jake spits out and turns his head away, huffing and crossing his arms.

"Because you need us to clean up the vast number of messes you make, idiot."

Ahh, Katie. You always know what to say.

Jake doesn't respond as the truth seems to have sucked the fighting right out of him. Then, after his dramatic pause, he huffs and mutters under his breath.

"What was that?" I ask, hand cupping my ear.

He glares at me, "I said- everything was going fine until you flipped out."

Katie stands, "I 'flipped out' because you want to dig up Lumps! Are you insane?" She makes a bunch of wild hand gestures, sending her tangled blonde hair flying,that give the impression that she trying to free herself from invisible restraints. I laugh but with one glare sliced in my direction, clear my throat and watch the action unfold instead, that being the safer option.

"And," she continues, gesturing towards the middle of our table, "You said it in front of the lava lamp too!!! You knoow that's bad luck. We don't need any more bad luck Jake, we already have you!"

"I know, poor Lumps. Subject to bad luck. You're just scared. Scared to do it." Jake taunts her, leaning back in his chair, a smirk on his handsome face.

"Am not. I just think you're stupid and you have stupid ideas!" Katie leans over me to Jake and messes up his hair, laughing before leaning back in her chair as well.

"So we're doing it then?" I ask, sighing. Having followed this whole conversation I already knew the answer would without a doubt be-

"Yep. We're gonna dig up Lumps."

"Oh fantastic."