Lindsey asks Kelly to let Chris and Lori know that they found me, and helps me into the car. "Where are we going?"
"Well, lunch, because I'm starving. And then wherever you want to go. What do you even do for fun anymore? Can I take you shopping? Drinks on the beach? I didn't have time to plan," he says, pulling out of the driveway.
I laugh at his excitement, shaking my head. "What's gotten into you? There's nothing to celebrate yet."
"Are you kidding me? You just took a huge step, Stevie. This is the first time I've seen you stand up for yourself in a really long time."
"This shouldn't be something to celebrate. I should have done this from day one."
"What you're doing is unbelievably hard. You're rebuilding your life. I'm really proud of you and you're going to have to shut up and let me celebrate you."
"Thank you," I say, letting him take my hand. I'm still confused by his reaction and don't really know what else to say. It scares me on some level. The idea of rebuilding my life is daunting, but I know he's not entirely wrong. This is the beginning of... something. I don't really know what.
"Is Alexander's okay?"
"That's fine. As long as we sit in back..." I say, gesturing at my face. It's only been five days. I'm still very visibly bruised, and am still feeling pretty vulnerable and exposed.
"Of course. They'll let us in through the back."
I nod, relaxing slightly. "I don't want to shop. But I haven't been to the beach in a really long time."
"You're not ready to be around anyone."
"I'm really not," I say, grateful that he's being perceptive.
"Then we don't have to see anyone." He pulls into a grocery store parking lot. "I'll be right back," he says, jumping out of the car. I watch him run in, somewhat confused, but glad to have a minute alone. He seems so excited, but the idea of celebrating anything right now seems silly. And exhausting. He jogs back to the car, tossing bags in the back seat and then joining me in the front seat. He looks at me for a second, then backs out.
"What are we doing?"
"Just relax."
"Okay, okay," I say, surrendering.
He takes me up to the bluffs, overlooking the ocean. While I watch the water and soak up the warmth of the sun, he sets up a picnic lunch, uncorking a bottle of wine. I join him and we eat, but I find myself without much to say. He talks excitedly, chattering about ideas for the new album, all of the things he sees us doing over the next two years. I mostly listen, which is unusual for us, but it's good. I like listening to him talk. Eventually, the sun starts to set and I realize we've been up here for hours. I lean my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes for a minute.
"Why are you doing all of this? Why are you being so nice to me?"
"What?" He seems caught off guard by the question.
"Everyone else left me. There's no one I can call. And you're still here, after everything that's happened over the past ten years... I feel like you should be the last one taking care of me."
"You deserve someone who adores you and spoils you and listens to you and believes in you and appreciates how amazing you actually are. I guess I was hoping that I could remind you what it's like to have someone treat you like you should be treated." I have no idea what to say, so he keeps talking. "I still know you better than anyone else. And you've always got someone to call."
"You're too good to me."
"Well, someone has to be," he says, putting his arm around me.
"You're the only one who ever fought for me."
"No one ever loved you as much as I did."
"What if no one ever does?"
"Stevie, you will find someone. He will adore you and you will be a perfect wife and mom. You need to take care of yourself first, though." I nod and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to choke tears down. He kisses my forehead and senses that I'm emotional. "You took some really big steps today."
"All I did was file a report. I'm still hiding at your house."
"Your negativity is exhausting."
"I'm sorry, I'm not..."
"Look, you've got every right to be negative, but I know you. You're more hopeful than this. You believe in love and magic and fairy tales and you always find your glimmer of hope. This isn't you," he says, an edge in his voice. I can tell he's frustrated.
"It's so hard to believe in all of that right now."
"I know. And knowing he tried to kill those parts of you makes me hate him all over again."
"Can we go home?"
"Of course," he says, letting go of me and rising to his feet. He helps me up and we quickly load the car and make our way back to the house.
Once we get in the car, I realize it's dark out he blew off his girlfriend hours ago. "Are you going to call Sherrie?"
"Probably not tonight."
"She seemed pretty upset, Lindsey."
"She was."
"Aren't you going to try to fix it?"
"I'm not sure," he says, and I sense that he's really not interested in discussing it.
"Okay, then."
He pauses for a minute, and I can hear him sigh as he gets ready to speak again. "I can't have her around while you're around. It just doesn't work."
"Don't say things like that. You're making me feel guilty."
"No, you're not getting it. She made me choose today, and I chose you."
"What do you mean?"
"I'd rather have you around," he says, taking my hand.
What the hell is he talking about? I decide I can't handle any other answers right now, so I decide to embrace silence for the rest of the drive and retire to my room as soon as we get back. I take a long bath, trying to clear my head and decompress. It's only been a few days since Christine showed up at my house and dragged me out of it. It feels like ages ago.
I haven't seen Richard in five days. It's amazing how quickly everything can change. Three nights ago I was sitting in my bedroom icing my face and lamenting my life. Now, I've left. Richard is gone, but I know I haven't heard the last of him. For the moment though, he's just lingering in the back of my mind, buried under the emotions still running high from my day with Lindsey. The things he said scared the hell out of me. He does know me better than anyone, and as irritated as I have been with him and as much as we've fought, he says things I need to hear. I know I'm negative, and it needs to stop. I know I'm doing the right thing. I know he's there for me, and I know that I've never truly been alone in this. As I sink into the water, I try to piece together all of the events of the last few days. Suddenly, it hits me like a ton of bricks. He's in love with me.
