perception of the mind (sh adaptation)

Fifteen • Colombian Catastrophe

"Boredom, anger, sadness or fear are not 'yours' , not personal. They are conditions of the human mind. They come and go. Nothing that comes and goes is you."
-Eckhart Tolle, 1948-

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She didn't know why.

That's what made her so angry, she didn't know why she was upset.

All the time, a continuous loop, a never-ending feeling of misery. Like there was nothing in this world that made her comforted, and she was almost disgusted by the thought of it. How she had everything she could ever need, and yet she was still upset. Especially when she didn't know why. That was worse. Because it's a sort of sensation that makes you feel quite empty, light-headed. In where your smiles were painted on, your laughs cold instead of warm, in where all emotion had been sucked out of you and rather found yourself battling with more than just a few personal storms.

But not everyone had the chance to realise it. They all go through the same thing, at the same time, with the same thoughts. It was all so sonder. And when you're caught up in work, rent, friends and family, mental health moves to the back of your mind.

So you expect the world around you to change, yet it's only after years of attempts that you realise, 'Perhaps it's me that needs to change'.

See here, Ophelia would blame them on thoughts that not she, but her mind thought of. They dominated her every movement and line of speech until she began to worry for her wellbeing. But this was old. She was used to it all. The worry was dulled, blunt. It was no longer the sharp pang in her chest that made her overthink and panic.

"Ah.. Ophelia!"

She looked up. She was in her lab, surrounded by Petri dishes and a microscope.

"I just.. You look like you could use the help."

Ophelia took David's smile in and mirrored it. "No I think I'm okay, don't you have a free shift now?" she said as she reached for her protective glasses.

"No.." he shook his head. "Well yes, I do, but I mean it's fine. I'm free all day anyway."

She nodded. "Use it to your advantage instead of helping me. I'm nearly done now, so.."

"Are you sure?" he insisted.

"Yeah,"

"Alright. I'll be down in the break room. See you soon?"

"Sure."

He took his belongings and left. The lab was quiet. She almost dared to breathe.

It was empty. It was big. There was no one in it.

She sighed and pulled off the glasses, packing away and leaving. Her shoes echoed against the floor as she walked from one side of the lab to the other. An urged knock from the door rang through the walls. Ophelia pulled open the door and frowned. "Detective Inspector, are you alright?"

"Dr Smith," His face was red, he was out of breath. Ophelia realised that she hadn't seen him properly since last Christmas. It felt like years ago. "Hey, there's a crime scene, a body.. Down near Boundary road.." he breathed. "D'you mind coming?"

"Oh. The forensic criminology department is next door, we switched labs.."

"No you've been requested."

"Ah," she sighed. There was a pause in which Ophelia wondered how going would affect her. Then she wondered how not going would affect her. Then she realised it wasn't about her. "Yes, alright."