A Thorn In The Ice

Chapter 36: Frozen In Shock

Adelaide turned restlessly onto the plush burgundy and gold adorned freshly made sheets of her bed.

It was now day three of the bedrest she had been prescribed by the tall, oddly muscular healer named Delilah.
They had passed by like a haze as the warm fingers of a long overdue safe period of resting had her falling In and out of consciousness. The first day she had awoken to Iolas standing over her, checking in on her dutifully even though it was no longer his duty.
She had a strong desire to speak with him, to talk about everything that had happened, that they had shared, for she could see it tearing away at him like a poorly trained butcher, but in her groggy state, all she could seem to offer him was a weak, but warm smile.
She awoke the second day, and immediately sent for him, knowing that a talk between them was necessary, though she had absolutely no idea what she would say, but was given the news that he had gone to meet the the arriving fleet of captured enemy ships, and now, at day three he was still away dealing with placement of her newly enslaved enemies.
Work had already begun on the city, and from what she could tell, the barbarians seemed to be more accepting of their new fates than she had ever even anticipated.

As determined as she was, and even with as well as it was going, she knew no problem could be solved in a day, nor could a kingdom and its economy be fixed within a month. That knowledge though reasonable, did not stop her from stressing about things she could not fix.... just yet.
She ached for his presence, his voice, his scent. After so many days trapped and captured alone with him, to be without it left her feeling a hole in her heart.

She tried to still her focus, for as a queen so many relied on her for answers she did not have. Asking questions, she herself would have never thought off. She needed to have faith in herself because she was sure her kingdom was doubting what little hope they had in her. She was young, never meant for the throne, ruling alone and without a husband by her side, having just experienced capture and trauma, with little knowledge and intuition on how to rule with an iron yet understanding mindset.

She wanted in a way similar to that of her brother. Determined and strong, yet compassionate but, it is difficult to please everyone. She yearned for Iolas company, to have another royal to speak of such things with, but was grateful to him for the work he was now doing, the pressure he was taking off her. Her heart stung every time she thought of him, and her heart raced with so many conflicting emotions.
She felt as if she were being torn in two.

Adelaide decided it may be in her best interest to close her eyes for just a moment. Though she is not able to shut off her thoughts, she could temporarily shut out the world, and most definitely was able to shut out the sun's rays peeking past her cream-colored curtains.
Adelaide switched to resting upon her side, turning away from the window as the sun's rays seemed to dance across her room, as if teasing her with their freedom to come and go as they pleased. Touching whatever it felt like as its rose and set within the sky. Whereas she had not left the castle since her return.
She had so much power, yet she herself felt trapped.

She once had no obligations other than to love and bring honor to her brother, her staition and her country. She had roamed freely down the castle halls, played carefree in the gardens, or gone riding for hours In the forests with Simon. Guiltily she felt that she had no real, insightful knowledge on the kingdom she would one day rule over; it's citizens, her allies, and her enemies. Perhaps she should have paid better attention during her private lessons or took interest in the times in which Xavier called together his advisors to discuss issues and solutions. If she thought Xavier's ruling seemed stressful, it was nothing in comparison to rebuilding what once was. To think there were times in which she would throw a fit saying that he didn't care enough to spend time with her. Throwing how her parents were no longer within their lives in his face to guilt trip him. Meanwhile she had no clue all the burdens he carried upon his shoulders of not just her best interest, but of the thousands that trusted their futures and lives upon him.