Deprivation- The Feast and the Famine

Chapter 22- Two Brutes

Roderick walked closer than he ought, and Claudia pretended not to notice. It was only animal instinct that had driven her this far out onto the garden path. She took up his hand and turned to face this man that she had hated since she was aware of his existence. 

"Roderick." She tasted his name. It felt slick, and she wanted it off as soon as she could find a cleansing word. 

"My little sister is getting married. I hardly think you've earned the match." 

"He is from a fine family. Better than ours, there is no merchant blood."  

"Watch your tone, girl. You've no right look down on us." 

"How should I look at you?" 

Roderick's hand clenched. "You should be grateful to those who helped you find a place. You should be grateful no one has told Victor what you really are." 

Claudia felt her body shiver inside its lace cage. She lifted a hand and rested it on her chest just above the line of her gown. She leaned her body closer until she could feel the heat of him. "And what is it you think I am?" 

Even knowing it would come, Claudia was surprised at the force of her back hitting the garden fence and the painful pressure of Roderick's hand on her shoulder. "I think you are no better than your whore of a mother. I think you will bring shame to this family." 

"Is this how you handle your disappointment of a wife, brother?" Claudia said her eyes traveling to his hand. "With such brutish force? Should I be afraid?" 

Roderick grabbed her other shoulder, and the force of his fingers was liable to leave marks. "Of course you should be afraid." 

"I'm not. You won't hurt me. I have your father's name." In spite of the pain of his hold on her, she set her hand gently on his chest and lifted her other hand to caress his cheek. "And who knows brother dear perhaps, when I have tired of my beautiful Victor, I shall look for a man whose strength is in his arms. Perhaps I shall desire a man who has a bit of a brute in him." 

The grip on her shoulders loosened and the expression on Roderick's face altered. She was more afraid of this look than the other. She spoke the words, but she knew this was not the brute she desired. One of his hands slipped slightly down her shoulder. Claudia knew where that hand was thinking of going. She knew what a man's desire looked like. 

"Soon, I will not have your father's name," she whispered. 

His hand went where it wanted, and it thrilled her not because she desired this man but because she had won. She had him. It was a weak hold, and she would not test it. She had him.  

"I wonder, will your wife look like me tonight?" Her hand slipped down his chest to his stomach which was showing signs of heavy drinking. "Father's garden tastes like autumn already." 

Roderick watched her with narrowed eyes. "You are a creature of hell." 

"If you will. I feel like a creature of flesh. The blood pounding in my veins is confirmation."  

A voice echoed out into the gardens. For the first time in the life she remembered, she was happy to hear her father's voice. Even happier that it was not calling her name. 

"Roderick, father is calling you." 

Watching her brother stalk away from her, Claudia knew there was only one place to turn. From the brute, she didn't want to the brute she did. As always, once she set her mind to something the rest slipped away. She lived inside the world and allowed her strings to be pulled. She danced as a puppet should but the part of her that thought and felt recognized only one drive.