MY MOTHER DIED BEFORE I COULD MURDER HER

CHAPTER 15

The gymnast.

Not long after the Sharpeville massacre where hundreds of black men, women, and children were killed or wounded after the police opened fire on a peacefully demonstrating crowd, South Africa, under Prime Minister Verwoerd held a referendum and decided to become a Republic. The country was under massive pressure, due to its apartheid policies, from other members of the Commonwealth, of which it was a member, as well as international and Olympic sports bodies seeking her expulsion from both.

     After the referendum, it was decided to hold the South African Games in Bloemfontein purely for local athletes as a way of the country showing the finger to everyone else. The decision was made at the last moment and the opening ceremony was to be a gymnastic exhibition by high school children from all four provinces of the country. Johannesburg schools would select a number of students who in turn would be part of the whole Transvaal contingent to the games. Our school was to participate with six boys and six girls.

     When Ralphie and I met that Saturday, he was buzzing with excitement. His school had started practicing for the selection the day after the announcement and he was sure he’d make the team. “It’ll be fun!” He was excited. “All the schools from each province will go to Bloemfontein on trains, and we’ll sleep on the train for the three days we’re there. Can you imagine all the girls on our train, and more on the other trains from the Cape and Natal and the Free State? Hundreds of them. We’ll soon find out how free the girls are in the Free State. With a bit of luck we’ll party all night and fuck till dawn.” It sounded great. All the partying sounded good. I knew Ralphie was no longer a virgin; he often told me how Kathy would sneak into his room when Monty and Errol, now university students, were in the backyard drinking Bantu Beer with the black man who worked for Ralphie, and as he said “she’d take care of business,” but I sure as hell was a virgin and maybe with all the girls in one place I might just strike it lucky and be on the road to manhood, so I turned up for the first practice at school. There were quite a few eager participants but it seemed as if everyone wanted to be a gymnast and no one was keen on being the flag bearer. After all, flag bearers had nothing to do other than carry a flag and lead the gymnasts to their positions on the field. I looked at the competition; there were almost twenty boys trying out for six spots on the team, mostly guys who were fit, who were used to gymnastic exercises and who would definitely be ahead of me in the competition for one of the places. To be honest, I didn’t care about being a great gymnast, but was only interested in what Ralphie assumed were girls eager to please us. In any event, I found it difficult to do headstands, and handstands were a definite no-no. Once again Sophie turned up to help me out. I have to admit that I bullshitted her a little and told her how eager I was to try and get out of my shell and mix with other kids. “You know,” I said to her while we were sitting on the sidelines of the field during a rest break from practice, “it’ll mean that I have to spend time with the other guys in the compartment for three days and maybe I’ll mix with kids from other schools who are strangers. Who knows, maybe I’ll like it.”

     She felt good about the prospect of my getting out there, patted me on the hand and went over to chat to Mr. Ellis, the coach. He didn’t look too happy as he looked across at me, and the two of them talked a while. Mostly Sophie did all the talking and I could see that she wasn’t going to give up without a fight. Then she left him and walked over to me. “Do you mind being a flag bearer?” This was perfect, if only she could swing it. “Okay, Mr. Ellis needs to select the flag bearers before he picks the rest of the team and if there are any others trying out for the position you’ll have to prove yourself. No one wanted to be a flag bearer because it was a nothing position. Two girls competed for the post on their team and I was the only one interested amongst the boys. Sophie and I were thrilled for different reasons, but thrilled nevertheless and I didn’t mind when she hugged me. “Oh, Josh, you’ll be great. Just be brave and do your best to mix and make friends.”