Stay, Stay, Stay || Sidney Crosby

Twenty-Seven

I sat with my feet dangling in the warm water of the hotel swimming pool, cursing myself for forgiving him so easily. All it took was one night alone and the feeling of his lips against my neck the next morning for me to give in and forget all the hurt. But the trouble was I couldn't forget. I told him I was over it, and in some ways I was, I didn't want to fight with him, yet the hurt still dwelled inside me. The look on his face as he spat cruel words in my direction while we sat surrounded by friends. I'd spent the night brokenhearted and questioning our relationship. When the idea of not being with him became too much to bear I tried to find the words that would explain what I needed from him. Finding the words was one thing, but figuring out what I wanted to say was a whole other challenge. In the end it came down to one thing; I needed to know he was on my side. I needed him to have my back while I battled against myself.

"We can't keep doing this," he sighed into my hair, our arms wrapped around each other. He'd woken me up before my alarm could, eager to sort things out. I'd rolled out of bed and into his arms, eye make up smudged all over my cheeks and still in last night's push up bra that I'd somehow slept in.

"No, we can't," I replied. My head was nestled in the crook of his neck, I tried to stop myself from choking up again, wondering how I could possibly still have tears after last night

"I don't know what to do," he admitted, opening the flood gates to my eyes. I buried my head against him, my body shaking with every sob. My salty tears stained his soft black t-shirt and he pulled me tighter.

"I'm willing to do anything you ask me to," his voice was soft, almost pleading. I couldn't help but cry harder, gasping for air and convulsing. He rubbed small circles in the middle of my back, desperate to provide some comfort.

"Thank you," I croaked, the only thing I could think to say. We both knew what we needed from the other, but instead of saying it we lay back on the unmade bed and held our bodies as close together as we could, an unspoken promise to sort things out.

I'd been with Sidney long enough that I wasn't offended when he let go of me and crawled out of bed, it was game day and he had a routine to begin. One that would hopefully lead to a win that night. After showering, hoping to cleanse myself of the night before, I got dressed and headed down to breakfast. Determined to try harder, I sat down at a corner table with two pieces of toast, an apple, and tea. An hour later I had eaten everything in front of me and tried to push away the anxious feeling of failure that threatened to ruin my effort. The voice of the demonic bitch who had infected my life echoed through my head. I needed a distraction and like an unsaid prayer I found him in the elevator.

"How's it going?" James smiled as I stepped inside the mirrored walls.

"I'm alright," I replied brightly, hoping to mask my true emotions. "You?"

"I'm alright, just meeting the boys at the pool," he held up the swim shorts bunched in his hand.

"Sounds like fun," I reached passed him to press the button for floor 22.

"You should come down," he suggested, tilting his head to the side.

"I didn't pack my bathing suit," I chuckled.

"Come anyway," his smile was so warm and inviting. He reminded me Simon in a way I couldn't pinpoint. "We both know Sid's probably already in the zone," his laugh filled the small space.
I couldn't help but smile at how well we all knew Sidney. His reputation as predictable had been rightfully earned.

"Okay," I finally answered. "But if you splash me there will be hell to pay."

The water moving calmly over my feet reminded me of home. I tried to imagine the smell of chlorine was salty air and the laughing swimmers seagulls. Even if it was just a swimming pool, there was still serenity in the ebb and flow of the liquid.

"Bea," Geno swam towards me, I noticed the absence of his usual lopsided grin, the sparkle in his eyes clouded by emotion. "Have you..." he paused and looked down at the water, taking a breath. "Have you talk to Serena?"

I froze, unsure how to answer. I cursed my best friend for putting me in the middle of her mess, but quickly forgave her, a twinge in my heart as an image of her alone at home flashed through my mind. I looked at his sad eyes and shook my head, trying to be casual.

"She text me last night," I added quickly, hoping to comfort him. Ease his mind in anyway I could.

"She say anything about me?" He crinkled his brow confused.

"Just that I should wish you all a good game," I lied, biting my lip to refrain from losing it.

"Oh," he looked disappointed, I wanted to dive into the pool and hug him. "She not answer my calls," he shook his head and tried to force a smile. "I try again later." I watched him swim off and noted that we'd be home in three days, three days and I could help her figure this all out.

I had just finished lightly taping Beau's healing wrist and was sitting causally with James, waiting for someone to need me, when my phone began vibrating frantically in my pocket.

"Penguins' locker room, medical professional and best sister ever, Beatrice speaking, how may I help you?" I answered, knowing my brother was on the other end of the line.

"Hey sassy pants," John laughed in response. "Are you here?"