Then, and only then, was She gone [Short Story]

Okay, total YAY because this is my first short story (that I've actually completed)! So please let me know what you think. I'm thanking everyone in advance for the votes and everything. I would like honest critisisms because it it (kind of) my first time doing this. Ish. I don't even know if it's a proper short story... Does it tell a story? Is it a proper short story? I am honestly not sure, you can tell I'm confused.. Let me know! Please! :)

Love, Love.

-------------------------------------------------> Then, and Only Then, Was She Gone

It wasn’t like that day began differently to any other, really. Not at all; she ate the same cereal she had every other morning; Golden Nuggets. She enjoyed them as she had always done as she crunched spoonful after spoonful. She bagged a shiny green apple (she detested the red ones,) and kept her purse with her so she could also buy some lunch that afternoon. It was her first day at University and she couldn’t wait. Excitement propelled her forwards as she left the small flat she was renting. The nineteen year old was studying Marine Biology at the University of Liverpool, because that was her dream, what she’d wanted for so long, was to be a Marine Biologist. To study the sea and all that lived in its depths. That was her dream.

The girl nodded and smiled to those she ambled past on her way, just because. After all, this was the moment her life began. Uni. The endless days of high school , or so it had seemed at the time, were behind her now, and, if she was being honest, they were worth it now that she could attend University. She was just moments –moments­­- away. Here she was.

Then she could see it. The campus building loomed over others and seemed to draw her near. The anticipation was developing in her heart like none she’d ever felt before, and the shine in her eyes, well, it must have blinded her from the realities of the world around her.

She died instantly. Didn’t feel any pain at all- or so the doctor told her parents, Nigel and Sue. They barely took it in; the cold sterile atmosphere was a completely different world to the one their daughter existed in. The young lady lying in the hospital bed, no matter what the dental records said, she was different. She wasn’t their baby girl. Their daughter, she was alive.

The truck driver suffered minor head injuries and long-term emotional struggles. And he hadn’t meant to do any of it. He’d been a bit tired. He’d been driving all night, after all. He’d meant to take a break but he was heading home to family. It was his son’s birthday; he promised he’d be there. He hadn’t meant to kill someone, much less a young girl full of potential, he’d meant to get home. He hadn’t mean any harm.

But she wasn’t gone yet. No, not yet. Her seventeen year old brother and twelve year old sister couldn’t –wouldn’t- dare to believe. She simply wasn’t dead. She was their sister. She was painfully annoying. She spent too long in the bathroom and hogged the remote. Memories of countless arguments resurfaced –but when they said they’d hated her, they never meant it. She could come back now. She was family. She simply wasn’t dead. The jokes they made, they were sorry if it hurt. And for every piece of clothing, pair of shoes that had been borrowed without permission, they would buy her more. If she’d just come back. She was their indestructible sister, she wasn’t dead.

Friends were shocked. The news was unbelievable and unwelcome. A secret admirer cursed, depression settling in; he never got to confess. He never got to know. She was there, when someone needed a place to stay, something sturdy to fall back on, she was there. She was the most careful, the most mature, the most likely to live wonderfully with two kids and a dashing husband.

She was not gone yet. The holes she’d left, they hadn’t patched up yet. And holes didn’t patch themselves up, nor did they patch up quickly if the stitches were to be neat. She was still very much alive within the lives of those who treasured her.

Black attire, black umbrellas, black tears and bleeding hearts, sobbing wretchedly as black as black itself, signified the funeral. The farewell to the dead, but she was not gone yet. She was still very alive. Inviting countless to mourn her, to celebrate her. All she had achieved, all she loved, all she stood for. Not a dry eye was present, not a whole heart, all was broken for her. One girl –the light beyond the tunnel for so many, had headed toward a light of her own.

“I want to fly, and if I cannot fly, I want to know why,” she had once said at the age of six. And her mind continued to work in ways that many wished to understand. As they left, her body beautiful empty, as it was alive, they whispered a goodbye, barely touching the polished wood that was to contain her for the rest of forever. But goodbye could mean everything –and nothing, because she was not gone yet.

Only years gone by, her unwritten life so tragically ended, did memories waver. Her eyes, blue or green? Her hair, blonde or sandy brown? And her voice, it vibrated soundlessly –they just could not remember. And how they wept, when the edges of her face faded, burnt to dust, just a tease in the mind’s eye. Leaping just a step in front, a millimetre from the memory’s grasp, just beyond the horizon.

Not quite yet gone, she danced from here to there. They forgot for so long, until she bestowed upon them sweet reminiscences of laughter and jokes shared –how many years ago? The date forgotten, how could she remain? How could she?

Like a ghost, she lived in them. In those who chose to remember. Who chose to treasure what and who she was. Who clutched tightly onto the last threads when the blanket fell apart years ago. But when grabbing straws, eventually, you lose. And they lost, eventually. Because life never fails to take it’s toll, and if you hang on so hard, life takes you eventually.

So with the last light in the omnipresent darkness snuffed, she could finally rest. She was forgotten, but forgotten was okay when held onto for so long. Only when they forgot and let go, did she finally go. Then, and only then, was she gone.

N.N

03.01.2011

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Thanks for reading! Vote?

Love :)