50 Shades Of Me

4:57 PM

I hate school.

There is nothing I dread more.

I hate the people, I hate the environment, I hate everything about it.

There is a group in particular that gets on my nerves.

Its the girls and boys that make my days in school a living hell.

I used to be their friends, but once the bullying started, and I ended up crying myselft to sleep every night, I became friends with a different group of people.

Everyone made fun of me in that group.

The only reason I stayed was because i thought they were cool.

I was so stupid.

I made my life a living hell still being their friends.

If one day they stop, maybe we can be aquainted again.

The first time I've gotten bullied was when I was in preschool.

All of the kids made fun of what I wore, and how I had curly hair. How I always wore my pink and black converse instead of ballet flats or sandals. I used to have a really hard time in preschool becuase I was bullied a lot, even as a four year old.

When I was in third grade, I grew my two front teeth. They werent as straight as the other kids. Everyone called me names and said that I had crooked teeth and being really harsh about my smile. I used to only smile with my mouth closed because I was so embarrased of my teeth. I went home crying to my mom, begging for her to get me straight teeth. She didn't understand how I felt.

In sixth grade, I was finally in middle school. I was so excited but I was also really scared. The first few months were great, but as time went by, people started making fun of my face and how I was ugly and how my teeth were once again. I used to go home and lock myself in my room for the night. I would get made fun of how skinny I was and how I dressed. I was really sad that people were saying this to me. I was really confused at why they were saying this. I cried in my room all night, and once my mom came into my room and asked me why I was crying. I told her how the kids at school were calling me names and being mean to me.

Now, In eighth grade, the bullying has gotten significantly worse. I am still being made fun of by those girls who I used to be friends with. I have cried a lot, and I have also thought of killing myself multiple times. I still want to, I feel like there is no point on living when you get made fun of you're whole life. I cut, but its the only thing that is making the pain go away because it isnt going away. I honestly hate myself. I hate everything about me. My hair, my weight, my skin, my face, my teeth, my eyes, my feet. Everything. I hate it. I wish I was like everyone else, happy is what I really want to be.

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First one up!!

This was really emotional to write.

NOTE: YOU DONT HAVE TO READ THE "CHAPTERS" IN ORDER.

I really hope that I get some positive feedback because this little book thingy Im writing is giving away EVERYTHING that goes on in my head. Good or bad.

I really hope you liled this one!!

!THE CHAPTERS WILL BE UP DAILY!

I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY!!

XXXX,
LIZZE❤️