My Best Mistake: A Justin and Ariana Fanfiction

Chapter 5: Hidden

ARIANA'S P.O.V.

I haven't felt this much betrayal in a long time. But why should I get to wallow in my sadness when I did something much worse to Sean? He was nothing but loyal, and caring to me. I'm such a shitty person.
Once I got my keys and my phone I stopped by my house to grab at least 6 pairs of clothes, a suitcase and backpack, my laptop, charger, shoes, covers, all the essentials. Then I got into my Escalade and drove. I never stopped crying, not once.
While driving towards my secret destination, I was feeling pretty weak and I knew I needed something to settle my stomach before I puked all over myself. So, I pulled into a gas station parking lot and got out to look around. My stomach was in knots, and I couldn't stop cramping. I walked to the back of the store where the drinks were and grabbed 2 bottles of Ginger-Ale and held them in one arm. Walking past more beverages I saw the 'alcohol' section. I stopped for a second. You're pregnant, you don't need to drink. But wait, you don't want this baby now. Especially not after Justin proved who he really was. Just do it. No one can stop you. The voices in the back of my mind convinced me as I reached in to grab a bottle of Vodka. I confidently walked to the front of the station and set the beverages on the counter to be purchased.
The cashier looked at me in shock then spoke in a thick Latin accent, "Ay, you're that uh.. Grande chick. Righ'?"
I knew I looked completely broken when the man saw me. I was shook up, but I did my best to compose myself in the somewhat sketchy mini mart. "Yeah, that's me."
He looked at me but not in a concerned way, more with just a happy-go-lucky attitude. "Oh this is great, I'm Miguel. A fan." He cheekily responded as he rang up my items. After ringing up the second bottle of vodka he stopped and pointed at a fridge full of soft drinks behind me. "I don't have much, but grab anything out of that fridge and I'll give it to to you free."
I smiled at the sweet gesture but refused. "No thank you. That's super nice, but I don't think I sh-"
"No, please. As the first celebrity in my store, this is my thank you." Miguel was being so nice, so I decided I shouldn't refuse his gift. I grabbed a Sprite® and he bagged it along with my other drinks.
As he handed me the bag, he said, "Have a great night Ms. Grande."
I could tell how genuine it was and it made me feel a bit better to know there are still decent people in the world. People that don't want to bother you for a picture or something, but would rather you receive than give. "Thank you, Miguel."
Getting back in the Escalade I noticed my phone lit up with almost 30 notifications. These were the few that caught my eye:

where are u?- mom
missed call from: Mama Grande (7)
this isn't funny ari- mom
baby please it's not what it looks like- Justin
ariana please talk to me- Justin
what did u see?- frankie
hey bb, where is U? ppl are freaking out? - lexi
it was a mistake. pls call me -Justin
ariana mom is worried as fuck. stop this- Frankie
missed call from: Sir Bizzle (5)
what happened?- mom
oh my lord, stop scaring me and answer-mom

I just shook my head and drove.
About 30 miles outside of L.A., there's this nice exclusive area of houses hidden. Nice and secluded houses that a lot of celebs secretly own to get away from all the shit of the world. A 2-story house built with one of the best views and most beautiful interiors belongs to me. Nobody, not even my family or friends knows I bought it. So, say hello to my secluded hangout for the next few days.
As soon as I got inside I opened the cabinets to expose my favorite thing in the world. Now, even though this is a 2 story house it doesn't have much room for my prized possessions. That's why I had something built into the house for good measure. I had a type of a panic room entrance carved into the ground beneath me to make a secret room. This room has all my music and recording things built into it with a spare bed and a tv. It's supposed to be the room I use to get away from all the bullshit, and it works. I feel like I'm in my own world and no one else exists.
After setting my packed shit beside the bed I walk back out of the secret room and set the bottles of Vodka and Ginger Ale down on the kitchen counter. I made sure the back door was locked, just in case someone saw me drive up.
I walked out of the kitchen to see the white 'living room'. Well, technically it's not a living room but yeah, it's close enough for a house this small. Walking towards the ladder to go up to the main bedroom, I started to have a familiar feeling. Not a good one, a bad one. My stomach was killing me. I felt like I was being ripped apart and flipped around from the inside. It made me feel like I was about to ruin the white walls surrounding me so I turned back to enter the bathroom and... well, you know.
While destroying my dignity yet again by barfing up tons of half digested products, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. When I finished I sat by the bowl, pushed my hair out of my face, and grabbed my phone from my blue jeans. The ID said, "Mama Grande".
Well, I should've known. Let's answer it so she knows I'm alright and will stop calling. I accept and put the phone to my ear, "Hello." My voice is weak but I try to be as confident as possible.
"Ariana. Oh my God. Are you okay? You scared the hell out of me! Where are you? What happened? I can't believe-" She didn't take a breath during any of those sentences so I had to interrupt her before she passed out from the lack of oxygen she was receiving.
"Mom I'm fine." I exhale.
She doesn't hesitate to reply, "Where are you?! I'm coming to get you."
"No you're not, Mom. I just need some space, okay? I'll be fine. Im 21."
Her voice gets strict, "You may be 21, but you're pregnant. And you're not making the best decisions by being alone right now. Can you at least tell me what happened that made you want to leave?"
I retort, "How about you ask Justin. He should know. I gotta go Mom. I'll be turning my phone off so don't bother. Love you, bye." I had to hang up. I had to get away from these thoughts and think of some good ones. Some that made me want to write instead of making me want to cry. I got up and tried to pull myself together and climb up the ladder.
When going up the ladder, it first leads into a narrow loft but expands up into a type of day bed apartment. It's nice. I got this house because it seemed small, classy, respectable, and discreet. It's like no one could ever find me until I wanted them to.
The last time I stayed here, it was after the Jennette fight. It was terrible to lose such an amazing long time friend over some stupid business drama. I just needed to get away, and that's when the house comforted me for a day or two.
I opened the door to the day bed and collapsed on it trying to just lay back and think.
I never should've went to that party. I never should've met Justin. I never should've hurt Sean. I wish I would've never been who I am. At least I wish I wasn't 'famous'. Life would've been so much easier, and less dramatic. I probably would've been a barista at Starbucks and just sang at clubs or something. That sounds fun. I mean, I love the fans but I hate the stress. Now, I've got a whole shit ton of stress growing inside of me. I look down at my stomach and put my hand on it. I start to massage circles on my skin with my fingers. "What am I gonna do with you?" I say out loud. Wow, Ariana. Like this thing can hear you. You must be losing it.
And I am. I know I'm losing my sanity. I thought I started losing it years ago, but I actually started losing it a few weeks ago when I knew something was up with me. The puking, the lack of eating, and the pain. I thought it was just a stomach bug, but it wasn't.
I can't deal with losing myself. At least not right now. I grab my phone and put it in my back pocket and take it with me back down stairs. Walking into the kitchen, I make eye contact with the bottle of vodka sitting on my counter.
I grab it and open the fridge to search for something to chase the alcohol down and see the sprite. I swing the cabinet doors open and make my way down to the secret room.
I grab the TV remote and press the ON button as I plop onto the bed with my sprite and vodka in hand. The 'WELCOME' screen is on and I choose Netflix.
As I open it, I click to watch American Horror Story. I know of a drinking game that will be fuck me up in 5 minutes at the least. Salud!