"I woke up to the sound of my alarm shrieking in my perfectly shaped ear. I sat up with a groan and pulled my covers from my California king size bed off of me and walked into my bathroom. I jumped in my shower and quickly showered. Once I got out I looked in the mirror at how ugly I am. My baby blue orbs and my perfectly straight blonde hair. I'm so ugly. I walked of my house and onto the street and then I ran into a large man. OMG its Spiderman."
Hm.
First things first theres nothing wrong with writing in first person. I think it just weird when people still do it currently these days. I mean. you do you though.
BUT IDK WHY PEOPLE WRITE THIS THING WHERE THEY REPEATEDLY HAVE TOO SAY HOw DEVASTATINGLY UGLY THEIR CHARCTER IS. DOES IT MATTER?
the word orb freaks me out. I feel like that whole paragraph was dissecting 2014-16 Wattpad and stories about Magcon or something.....
but the moral of the chapter is please please adopt a new beginning to your story other than this. I mean that turns me off of reading a story so quick. Because if the first person wasn't enough for me to cringe the alarm and the ugly and the FULL ASS EXPLANATION of the outfit rally pushed it over the top. \
I think i can speak for most readers when I say that I'm glad MOST people have left this behind in reading. But yet I opened a story yesterday and read someting just like this. So please.....no alarms.
