The Faces of Juliet

Prologue

The heavens are pouring heavily today.

It wasn't exactly the scenario I've had for the last day of my life. I always imagined a sunny day, me lying down on my deathbed, surrounded by my family and dearest friends. My face all wrinkled up, my hair has gone from brown to grey and my ring finger was wearing two rings; one was a thin silver and the other has a sapphire stone wrapped around in little diamonds. And, of course, the love of my life, either holding me close until I fall asleep forever or I'll be holding a photo of him near on my chest. I'll dream of him waiting for me on the other side with open arms and we will be happily ever after in God's promised land.

But that was only a fantasy our world made up so we can believe in to something as we grow up. And, once our little heads do, we create our own fantasy, we strive hard, make money, set goals and achieve them. Then we eventually die. After all the heartbreak, the hard work, the money you earned, you'll just turn to nothing. Your descendants will inherit everything you have and that body you took care of so much will just rot and soil the earth.

Or maybe that's just how we believed it. Maybe nobody will inherit what you had because there wasn't even one existing in the first place. Maybe everything was really made up by our minds and once we die, the universe that we believe we're in dies with us, completely proving that we're all just wasting efforts for a world that was never concrete.

My hair and clothes were damped. I didn't bother to bring an umbrella since knowing you're dying in just a few minutes, the umbrella was not really the first and last thing you remember. Most dying people reminisce the happiest moment of their lives and have their last words before death swallow them whole. I wondered, what would mine be?

God, it's freezing out here. My lips were shaking and the taste of that drug still lingers in my tongue. It's too strong and bitter. Why haven't I at least drank any nice beverage before I end my life?

That was all my brain can function as of that moment. I can't even think straight anymore and my body felt like it's screaming for warmth, but I can't give that anymore. It's either I'll die out here in hypothermia or I'll just jump from a bridge and drown myself in the river. So I guess reminiscing and last words are out of the list.

I don't know how long I've been walking and I honestly have no idea where I was going. I think I'm just looking for any way to kill myself out here to get this over and done with. I knew I can do it back at my flat but I don't want Clair to be alarmed and I might change my mind if I stayed there. So I just told her that I have to swing by the lab to do some little experiment for our research.

The currents of the Thames River flows faster because of the heavy rain. I finally stopped walking and looked down at the river. I heard cars screeching from a distance but I didn't take an interest to look at it. I was too focused on deciding whether I'll let the river be responsible for my death.

Weddings are always well-planned. They pick a perfect location. Perfect attire. And, a perfect date. Everything must be perfect. Women even call themselves their decided wedding month and end it with the word "bride", like "February Bride". In my case though, I guess I'll be a February Tragedy, wearing her blue hoodie and black pants.

By the next morning or so, they'll see my body somewhere, all pale and dead. A girl who killed herself at the River Thames. Maybe I'll be in the papers tomorrow and have some people to care. Maybe they'll get to know about my life a little and society will start talking about mental health awareness for a short while to let themselves believe that having sympathy will ensure humanity is still alive. They will all try to remember that on February 17, 2020, around 2 AM, a young girl took her own life and everybody will say they are sorry. Until they all won't. That's how it always goes, does it?

They will all try to pretend I still matter somehow. Then maybe I can be a horror story for children to stay them out of this site without having parental guidance. They will tell the little ones that a girl with long hair is haunting this place because she is waiting to have someone to be with her in the afterlife. She will lure people to jump on the river and die so she will never be alone again.

How pathetic, right? People believe in so many things for the sake of their "life after death". They believe that once we die, our souls roam and find their way back to God or if you lived a life so evil, you'll certainly be with Satan. Because we, humans are afraid. And, we have to be afraid. We have to believe in something, so we can all keep on living exactly like what the universe wanted us to.

But no one has actually gone back from their death to tell everyone about it and if there will be one, I highly doubt they can prove it.

I should be jumping by now. Yet, I can't.

My hands were shaking and the rain is not stopping anytime soon. I should just jump and end this but my heart was beating so fast like it wanted to get out of my chest. I wanted to jump but I can't bring myself to.

"I knew it." I heard someone spoke despite of the noise coming from the rain.

I stopped looking over the river and my eyes widen when I saw the person who wanted to keep me company.

"You're never going to do it," He said out loud. "You're afraid."

I can't speak. I was too cold. I can't mutter a word. I was shivering all over. Leave me alone. I thought to myself.

"No one lived on to tell the tale, eh?" He asked with a smile forming in his face.

"Will you let me know?"

Everything seemed to become a blur. Yet all I can muster was hearing a gunshot, an excruciating pain in my chest, seeing lightning from afar and a clap of thunder.

I collapsed on the ground, as every drop of rain pours directly at my face. My mouth was gaped open and my breathing was fast. I saw him looking down at me and walked away. I listened closely to his every footstep until it fades.

Then for a short moment, it rained still, my breathing was slowing down and I started to lose my hearing. I blinked my eyes a few times until I noticed that the rain slowed down and it felt like everything I still see has turned to pitch black.

This was it then. Death. It's colder than rain. Emptier than the black hole. Before my brain stopped functioning, I've come to such a realization.

All the devils are here.