These Dark Stages // a.i.

Nine

By the time five o'clock hits, we've filled up a large part of the calendar.

I'm actually surprised at how focused Ashton was, how dedicated he was to help me do this. As the hours flew by we worked with minimal conversation, and I have to admit it was nice to have someone helping me. I usually work alone on this kind of stuff.

"I appreciate you helping me out today," I tell him as I begin to pack away my laptop and tablet into my backpack. "It was really sweet of you, so thank you."

Ashton casually leans back in his chair as he watches me pack up. "I enjoy feeling useful."

I zip up my backpack and pull it onto my shoulder, motioning to him that it's time for us to leave.

We get into my car, and as Ashton puts his seatbelt on I scroll through my phone to try and find the address to his house, only to come up empty.

"What's your address?" I ask him as I continue to scroll.

"Wait, you're taking me straight home?"

I blink at that, looking up to stare curiously at him. "As opposed to...?"

"I just thought we were gonna go get dinner or something," Ashton sounds unsure of his words as he shrugs. "I mean, it is dinnertime, so..."

"Oh," I click my phone off and set it down so that it's face down on my thigh. "Yeah, we can go get dinner if you want—I don't mind."

"You sure?"

"Of course," I nod, starting the car and maneuvering it through the parking lot. "Dinner sounds great. Where do you wanna go?"

"We can go to my favorite place, I'll direct you there," Ashton says as I pull out of the parking lot and onto the busy LA street.

Three right turns later, Ashton points to where our destination is, and I can't help but frown as I see what it is.

"Ashton, this is a McDonalds," I frown, glancing over at him, only to see him nod confidently.

"Yup, I know."

Though it certainly wouldn't be my first choice, or maybe even my last choice, I can't ignore the happy smile on Ashton's face as we get closer to the building. After a moment of contemplation, we decide to just drive-through and eat in my car to avoid getting seen by anyone. After we get our food (three cheeseburgers, fries, and a Coke for Ashton and nuggets, fries, and a Diet Coke for me), I drive to a nearby empty parking lot and park the car.

The parking lot we're in faces a park with lots of green trees, cutting up into the horizon that lies just behind them. 

"Hey, remember when you told us about your career and all that?" Ashton breaks the silence as I chew on a fry. "You never did tell us who you worked for last. Who was it?"

I raise my eyebrows at the question as I grab my drink from the cupholder.

"I'm not going to tell you," I say, taking a sip of Diet Coke.

"C'mon, why?" I laugh at the pout on Ashton's face.

"Because it doesn't matter," I tell him, shifting in my seat in order to get into a more comfortable position.

"I disagree."

"Well, how about we agree to disagree?"

Ashton stubbornly shakes his head, seeming determined to get to the bottom of the truth, and it's slightly amusing to me. It sinks in that he's not going to give up without at the very least an explanation, so I take a deep breath and decide to give him one.

"It doesn't matter because it's behind me," I say quietly, shifting my eyes out towards the setting sun in front of us. "There's so little time in this life, so why live in the past when we can just keep moving forward? There's nothing that matters more to me than where I'm going."

Ashton doesn't say anything for me, and so we sit in silence for a moment until he does.

"I think I know who it is," Ashton announces, a knowing grin on his lips and a twinkle in his hazel eyes.

"Do you now?" I look at him curiously, the corners of my mouth up ticking.

"Yeah, I do," Ashton nods, shoving a handful of fries into his mouth.

And with that, the conversation is over, and I'm grateful that he's not pushing it further.

We spend the next thirty minutes talking about everything and nothing, and as time passes I find myself enjoying myself more and more. I spend the majority of the time laughing because of Ashton's stupid jokes or sassy remarks, and after each joke and comment, he giggles. I'm not sure why, but I find myself drawn to him, and even as the sunset in front of us turns the sky beautiful shades I somehow find the color of his eyes much more interesting.

I manage to tear my eyes away long enough to actually marvel at the sight in front of me.

"You know, I can't remember the last time I've done this," I say as I watch the sun sink behind the trees.

"What, watched a sunset?"

"All of it," I clarify, and Ashton frowns. "Going to dinner with someone who's a friend—it's usually always work-related. And it's... nice."

"Yeah, I guess I got lucky because my colleagues are my best friends," Ashton says, messing with the straw on his nearly empty cup. "Cal, Luke, and Mike... they make the hard parts bearable."

I find myself wanting to say the words you make the hard parts of my job bearable, but I stop myself from blurting it out because it sounds a bit weird. However, I have to admit to myself that it's true—these past weeks haven't been as emotionally straining on me, and all the boys have helped me slow down a little.

Ever since I moved to LA, life has been a blur because I refused to allow myself to stop moving. I've always been afraid to slow down because in my mind, once you start to slow down and lose traction, you're unable to keep up with those opportunities that are moving just as fast. Now, as I sit in the car with Ashton, I feel like I've completely stopped, my feet planted into the ground as I watch the sunset.

And for once, at this very moment, I have no desire to speed back up. 

:)