Homewrecker

49 - 𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰

It was Horror Movie Tuesday on the fifth screen, and the first film was Jordan Peele's Get Out, followed after the intermission with Us. Ethan had been so excited for this, doling out random facts about the production of these movies or the brilliance of Jordan Peele's foreshadowing while riding around the vacant property on the Segway, that Ryan had threatened to quit before the gates were even opened. Twice.

"You're going to love it," he told me in between checking the back of a Toyota and pretending like we hadn't seen already popped bags of microwavable popcorn tucked under the blankets in the backseat of a sedan.

He actually looked to be beaming as he talked about the film, feeling torn between not spoiling the ending for me and also wanting to talk what he called the little details that made it so unbelievably perfect and thought provoking. I had to remind him at least three times that we were supposed to working that night, wandering around all of the screens instead of just lingering at the fifth one, which of course, he ignored all three times.

"If you don't, we can't be friends anymore. It sounds harsh, but it's true."

"I've made up my mind. I am not going to like this movie," I announced. "Then I can wash my hands of you for good."

He shook his head. "Oh, no, no, no, no. Which, by the way, is a reference you will soon understand. But still, no, you won't be able to get rid of me because then, I'll just be this figure in the night, showing up at random times with a laptop, just always playing Get Out or Us until you learn to love it. I'll be all intimidating, just staring at you, then it'll happen. You'll join the dark side."

I glanced at him, at the accent he did as he drew out the words, his voice higher and more nasal than before. "Are you trying do a Palpatine impression?"

He grinned. "There's hope for you yet."

"But not for your impersonations, though. That was just unfortunate."

"Just wait until you hear my Darth Vader one."

I groaned. "Please, no."

"Actually, you know that iconic quote from The Empire Strikes Back? Well, it's wrong. No one says it right. It's actually—"

A white jeep pulled alongside us before he could finish, the driver's side window rolled down, and I interrupted him by asking the driver, "Hey, what screen are you headed for?"

~

"Okay, so that's Chris. He's the protagonist of the film."

"There's only one girl in this movie. How is there supposed to be a Final Girl if she already starts out as the Final Girl. And if Chris is the protagonist, what do we call him if he lives? Do we also call him a Final Girl? Is Final Girl the term for any sole survivors at the end, not just girls.

"There's more girls. You're just impatient."

"You didn't answer my other questions."

"Are you one of those at the movies? Do you just annoy whoever you're sitting with by asking all the questions the movie will answer if you just paid attention?"

"Are you saying the movie is going to tell me if we call Chris a Final Girl or not?"

"No, Final Girl is just for girls. Like Laurie Strode or Ellen Ripley or Sidney Prescott, Nancy Thompson. That's the trope. There aren't a lot of movies where everyone but one single guy dies. I think the Final Girl trope has more to do with the fact that gender ratio is all off. Plus, they like killing off girls more. Usually shirtless. Another massive trope of the horror film genre."