I shouldn't love you

CHAPTER ONE

Jenna

"Honey, what do you mean you are getting a divorce?" I hear my mother whisper in bewilderment. The three of them are sitting at the dining table, my mom, dad, and sister that is.

I woke up to a noise coming from downstairs, I looked to my left to see the time on my clock and it read 5:45 am. I freight easily so it's not a shock that as soon as I heard the noise, I immediately went to my parent's bedroom to find solace with them.  To my surprise though, my parents were not in their bedroom. My curiosity got the better of me and I went downstairs, only to see my mom, dad, and sister. 

My sister just told my parents that she is divorcing her husband of three years. I am so shocked. 

I have to admit, that everything that I thought I knew about love and marriage has been totally wiped out by this new revelation.

I mean how can they break up, they were the perfect couple, they are the perfect couple. Thomas adores my sister and has to be touching her in one way or another. I am completely flabbergasted by this news. 

When I go back to my room to try and get more sleep, I can't find any sleep, I toss and turn until I see that the time reads 9:13 am. I am still thinking about what I heard while eavesdropping on my sister's conversation with our parents.

Thomas and Stephanie met in High School. Thomas was the bookworm and my sister the cheerleader. Their love was unconventional, by high school standards because nerd and cheerleader, hello! Their schedules didn't mesh most of the time, but my sister was totally smitten with Thomas, much to the chagrin of the other guys in their grade.

When they got together, I was in grade 8 and they were in grade 11 and I saw that the students at school didn't make it easy for them. They wanted my sister to be with one of the football guys because apparently, that's how it's supposed to be, the football guy with the cheerleader. However, they persevered and held it together for so long, I just hate to see it all fall apart. I need to talk to my sister, I didn't even know that they were having problems!

Asher

I have a terrible headache and my brothers are none the wiser as they goof about around me.

We are at my eldest brother Mickey's house for my niece Tara's birthday party. She turns 2 today and her parents decided to throw her a princess-themed party that, ladies and gentlemen is the reason for the multiple bows in my hair and makeup or painted toenails that are seen among my brothers. 

When I first started having these headaches, I went to see my Doctor because I was alarmed that it could be cancerous but fortunately it had nothing to do with cancer. He gave me a list of reasons that could be the cause, among those were stress and anxiety and I have neither of those things. My mother has told me to try and take things slower at work and not try to do everything all at once, however, I don't think that's the problem. I just can't quite put my finger on what the problem is.

I am turning 28 this coming August and I feel like my life is stagnant and worse of all I have no one besides my parents to share things with. I hate being the fifth wheel when my brothers go out with their significant others and only invite me out of obligation, hell I think even my youngest brother Ethan has a girlfriend. Only I don't want a girlfriend, I want a wife or life partner, I just want something serious and very much committed.

I want to have someone to go home to, someone to tell all my problems to, someone who will have my back when I have to make difficult decisions, and someone to tell me when I'm messing things up. I want someone who I can be myself with and we leave all pretenses aside when we are together.