A Christmas Miracle (Excerpt Only) - BWWM Interracial Romance

A Christmas Miracle (Chapter 4)

CHAPTER FOUR

SUNDAY

Brenda didn't know why, but she felt in the mood for some meat—something hearty—like steak and potatoes. Despite having a quick breakfast, by the time church was over, she was starving.
Unfortunately, she and Alex didn't plan to meet for lunch until two o' clock.
She decided to call him up anyway.
"Would you mind meeting up a teensy bit earlier?" she asked. Her phone had silently scolded her that it was twelve twenty when she picked it up.
"How much earlier?
"Like, as soon as you're available?"
"Sure, I can get to you by one. Where do you want to go?"
Brenda thought about it. Who ate steak in the midday? How embarrassing. She'd just stuff herself with a bunch of carb-filled pasta and bread; she had to look like a lady for at least part of their relationship.
"How about some Italian?" she said.
"How about it? I'm half," he replied. "Just kidding—I'm a quarter. Italian, it is."
Brenda was never sure how much he was joking, and decided not to bother trying to figure it out.
*
"You're doing it again, Alex," Alex quietly mumbled to himself. "You're leading her on." But I'm not trying to! "And you're having a full-on conversation with yourself, great."
But Alex couldn't help it—he truly liked Brenda and wanted as much of her as she could give. And even more than that.
He didn't know where what they had was going in the long-term, but he did know that he wanted a relationship with Brenda, and everything a relationship would bring.
But he had to be careful; he had once been told he was made of mixed signals. He would hate to be the one behind all of Brenda's fears coming true should it happen to not work out between them; if anything, he would definitely wait until after Valentine's Day to break it off with her.
But he couldn't imagine anything like that happening when he felt so hungry for her and only wanted more and more. Then again, who foresaw a relationship's end in the honeymoon phase? Not many people go into relationships assuming it'll last maybe a week or a month or so—not when this excited about the other person. Not many people were like him.
Still, he rushed to pick her up. He wasn't confused about how he felt about Brenda—just confused as to what to do about it, how hard to try, or even if he should. He felt pulled in both directions at different times, although more strongly by the part of him that said to just go for it.
"Hey, girl," he said in a falsely seductive tone when Brenda opened her door to him.
She burst into laughter, and all he could think was that there was no other possible answer but to go full steam ahead.
*
After they had settled in at their table, Alex decided to get something off of his mind.
"So let me get this straight—your work days end at three..."
"More like around four."
"Right. Well, how come you were at that coffee shop the other day? Don't you guys have some sort of teacher's room for lunch or something? Don't you guys get only half an hour or so of official break-time? Unpaid?"
"Okay, first of all, no—we get about forty-five minutes—it's not that bad being a teacher at my school...or at least, that's not the bad part. Second of all, I kind of prefer actually getting a break on my break time, if you know what I mean."
He shook his head. "I don't."
"Look, you know in a circumstance like that—that kind of work environment—people like to be all up in your business. You tell one person one thing, chances are, everyone else will catch wind of it. People get bolder and bolder and want more details. They want to know how you're doing or coping, and they'll ask, 'so have you heard from so-and-so?' They want to start a shallow work friendship and talk about personal things with you and make you feel they're on your side, when they just want to get more juicy details to chew on and spread around, increasing their own social capital..."
"Dang, girl. Okay, I get it."
"Plus, I'm just the substitute teacher. They all pretty much knew each other before I got there, and they all know I'm temporary, so chances are, no real loyalty to confidential info or genuine consideration of my feelings there."
"It sounds so bleak."
"But it's reality, you know? It's just been my experience that ultimately, people are selfish. We have to be, right? In order to survive and thrive. I'm not counting myself out—I know I'm as guilty as anyone. It's just that it sucks when people do things to hurt you when they could have easily not done that thing, and it wouldn't have affected their life either way."
"Like your sister?"
"No, not like that. Obviously not shacking up with my boyfriend would have seriously affected her life—she fell for him, so she acted on her self-interest because not doing so would have caused her great pain. I mean what I was just talking about. For example, I told one person in confidence a little about what happened between my sister and me. I'm pretty sure I was clear that it was painful to talk about, and that I didn't want it getting around. How would it have negatively affected that person's life if they decided to keep confidence and stay quiet about it? The problem isn't that people are ultimately selfish, it's that it seems, when given the opportunity, they will act to hurt or destroy someone who isn't even a threat."
Alex whistled. "So you're saying people are essentially evil."
Brenda shrugged. "I'm not sure which pull is stronger, to be honest—to do something bad or good. Some people have a stronger pull to do good than others, obviously. But it seems like mostly, people will act on their instinct to do evil faster than its opposite. Nobody has time to spare your feelings when it's so much more fun to watch you burn."
Alex stared at Brenda in disbelief and pity. "My god, Brenda—what has the world done to you?"
"I'm just being honest so that you know what you're in for if you're entertaining more serious thoughts. I thought I did everything right in life, as best as I could. I was a good girl, and did what I was supposed to. I ate all my vegetables, listened to and obeyed my single-parent mother, tried hard in school, found out my mother had been prostituting herself to partially pay for our bills only when one of her johns ended up killing her—apparently because she refused to do something he asked—something depraved, I'm assuming, since in that line of work almost anything goes. Anyway, I finished college, and everything was fine for a few years until about seven months ago when I got an invitation to my father's funeral. I didn't really know him or anything so it wasn't exactly an emotional event for me, but that's where I met my half-sister, Rachel, and where my ex, Ralph, met her too. So yeah, I guess I'm a little bitter. They didn't waste much time making eyes at one another, either."
"Wait, right there at the funeral?"
"Well, no—she tearfully introduced herself to me then, throwing her arms around me. She seemed genuinely happy to meet me, despite being terribly affected by the funeral, so obviously, she knew our dad better than I did. I got confirmation later that she did—he'd been a part of her life heavily. Paved her way for a lot of things. She never had to work half as hard as I did." Brenda's mouth tightened. "Anyway, she shook Ralph's hand, and I honestly didn't get a look at his face in the moment since I was watching hers, and nothing looked out of the ordinary then. She sort of shoved herself at me afterward though, insisting we become besties since her dad was dead and I was all the family she knew about left."
"What happened to her mother?"
"I'm not even sure—she said she never knew her, but was sure we had different ones. I never really got a chance to dig out the full story. As I got to know her, sometimes Ralph came along, and I should have realized it then, but when you don't think something like that will happen, you're kind of blind to the signs of it happening. Afterward, I remembered some of the looks on his face, and some of the things he said—about how pretty she was, for example, but that was expected since she was—I was struck by it myself. But other things, too, like how bubbly she was, and how she just exuded positivity. How she seemed lit from within."
"Wait, he didn't seriously say all of that, though?"
"Thereabouts. Anyway, to their credit, they didn't do a whole lot behind my back before breaking the news to me, and by that I mean, they did everything but sleep together. Apparently, Ralph would have, but Rachel told him that she couldn't do that to me and that he had better break up with me first. She's so weird—she was so proud of herself, too. She was all, 'and I told him we are not gonna do that to you and he better do the right thing because I'm not that kind of girl—I'm nobody's side piece.' Anyway, so here we are."
"Wow. I'm so sorry, Brenda—that's a lot to handle, for sure."
She sighed and shook her head. "I apologize for dumping all of that on you. Here I am, supposed to be having fun and just enjoying your company, and I end up giving you a whole woe-is-me spiel."
"Oh, don't worry—I'll pay you back. If there's one thing for sure, pain is a part of life. But that's enough of that for this day—I only have a few precious few with you anyway, and I'd rather spend the time making you smile. I'd like the chance to ease some of your pain, even if it comes with the risk of causing you more, which, of course, I'll do everything in my power not to do."
She smiled, and he warmed all over again as he watched her brown eyes twinkle.
*
Dumping so much on Alex made Brenda feel a huge release, and she almost felt guilty for being about to ask him to bear more of it.
She also wondered about his own life, and what he had hinted at when he told her "pain is a part of life" with such heaviness behind it. What kind of pain had he endured?
She wanted to find out, but also, she simply wanted to see him in the flesh again. She was getting used to seeing his handsome face, to seeing those emerald eyes on her as if she happened to be saying the most fascinating thing; she was getting used to seeing that face break into a smile.
She was even getting used to his odd jokes—or whatever it was he was doing when she wasn't sure if he was joking or not.
She was just getting used to having company in general—it felt so good to have somewhere to go, someone to see. To worry about what to wear. To feel those butterflies fluttering about in the gut when a date is on the way.
Date? Really, girl?
She hushed the voice of reason; besides, technically, every event and meeting they had was a date.
Brenda had never had a deliberately temporary boyfriend before, but maybe now was a good time to try it—without getting too intimate of course.
"Just say it," Alex said, suddenly snapping her out of her thoughts. "I now recognize the signs of your fiddling when you're itching to say something, so out with it."
She looked up at him, but didn't answer.
"Come on, let's hear it."
She took a deep breath. "Okay. I remember you saying something about being on vacation, and I know we've agreed to meet up only on weekends, but I get off around four on weekdays, and can be ready to receive company by six..."
Alex put his hands up in a defensive gesture. "Whoa, whoa, whoa—what kind of guy do you think I am?"
"No, I mean...we can go somewhere or watch some Netflix..."
"I was just kidding, Brenda, I'd love it. And I am that kind of man, whatever you're thinking. Consider my evenings yours from now on whenever you want them...until Christmas, of course."
"Great! Because magically, despite going through my list of things to watch like crazy, I still have this whole queue of things left. And I'd love to watch them with someone—makes the experience richer."
"Sounds like you've made a firm decision about tomorrow and want an evening in."
"Yes." She thought about it, and then nodded her head, even though she'd already answered out loud. "I guess I do."
*
Alex made a conscious effort to control his body language and restrained himself from making a tasteless joke.
Brenda was obviously still naive, and was innocently inviting him over to her home. She probably honestly thought the date would remain casual and innocent.
So cute—she had no idea what she was in for.
But if he said the wrong thing, he could scare her off; he had to be careful.
The invitation was a big deal and represented something even bigger, whether she realized it or not.
He would take it easy, slow and steady, and she would inevitably invite him over more and more. Then he could go in for the kill.