Lifeless Dead

I shrieked and thrashed when I realized I was being held down by an invisible force. This was too soon, I was already comfortable with my new life. Why did I have to go through this all again? I kept yelling at the top of my lungs hoping that someone could hear, someone could save me but nothing good ever did happen for me.

Those eyes just kept staring down at me, cherishing my fear. I stopped thrashing and became enthralled with those eyes, I had no control over my body. My cheeks were stinging, I could feel them burning up but Joshua wasn't moving his hands, he wasn't moving at all. He picked up a hand and exposed five clawed nails. He reached forward and dug them into my chest and began dragging them down to my belly button. Blood was gushing everywhere and pain engulfed my body.

'WAKE UP! WAKE UP, GENISIS, WAKE UP!' I could hear faintly.

Joshua stared down at me, venemous eyes, hatred filled eyes. He dragged his fingers across my face lightly and kissed my lips before smirking. "I'll be back soon." He whispered before vanishing. I heard the whoosh of water before I felt the coldness on my face. My body lurched forward at the sudden contact and I hugged myself, shivering.

"Genisis," My roommate asked. "Genisis, are you okay?"

I looked at her confused. Who was Genisis? Then it clicked into my head that I was no longer Maleena and the past few months flooded into my brain. My roommate, Jessica, stared at me pondering if I was well. I nodded and she shrugged before walking away. I stared above me, where the eyes were not so long ago.

I felt a stinging on my chest and pull my shirt up. I almost screamed again with what I saw; faint claw marks where Joshua had dragged his fingers across my torso. My lips tingled when I remembered he'd kissed me, I touched them and wished they'd burned off and be replaced. I was angry that they were branded into my brain, I couldn't forget them or the pain they'd caused me. I hated feeling like a lost cause.

'I live for you but I'm not alive.'

I shivered and reached for a cigarette, they always made me feel better. I looked around for a lighter and sighed when I found one. The scent burned my nose, the menthol tasted good on my taste buds, and I smiled with delight. If anything, cigarettes helped me survive my whole life, they didn't destroy me and I appreciated that.

The seat beside me dipped in. Jessica had plunged into the cushion and stared at me curiously, "Cigarettes?" I just stared back at her, willing her to go away. I just wanted to be alone. "I just came to see if you were alright. Are you? Because I'm going out again in a few minutes and well, I don't want to leave you alone. That was some freaky shit you pulled." I raised an eyebrow and she sighed, defeated. Then she brightened up again. 

"How about I stay here and we hang out? Get to know each other a little better. Who knows how long we'll be here together." I held out my cigarette carton and offered her a cigarette. If she was going to be around me, might as well offer her my prized possession. "I've never smoked a cancer stick in my life." She admitted, blushing.

I stared at her in shock, everyone has done something like this before, right? Obviously not. I offered her a cigarette again and she took it without a thought. "The way to start off is to inhale slowly with the cigarette in your mouth. Get a little bit of smoke in your mouth and then fully inhale with your lungs. You can do this by either breathing in through your nose or through your mouth. Once you get used to the smoke being in your mouth and hitting the back of your throat you can take larger and larger drags."

She stared at me wide-eyed and I urged her to try. "Aren't you afraid of what cigarettes can do to your body?" She lit the cigarette and followed my instructions, she successfully took the first drag of a cigarette.

"No, I don't care about what happens to me anymore. If I am willed to die a long and painful death then I have to die that way, no?"

Jessica sighed. "So you're one of those that believe in God's will, huh?" She peeked a glance at me and said, "It's nothing bad, of course, but I lost all faith in God when I went through Hell."

"I wouldn't have crawled away from my abductors had I know believed in the will of God." I snapped.

"I'm sorry, I just don't understand," She whispered. "I don't understand.."

I smiled at her innocence and asked, "Why are you here?"

She froze, the cigarette laid on her lips, she made no effort to suck it in. "i-uh-I-I don't know how to explain, it's difficult to talk about." She looked down ashamed.

"We're going to be here for a while, I have time."

"I was abducted by my father. He kept me hostage for most of my life, he used me as a sex-toy, a punching bag, a money maker." She shivered. "He had this sort of fantasy and I was a part of it. I was the main character." She leaned back. "I was my mother's replacement."

I felt a chill run through my body and instantly regretted asking her anything. "I'm here because two psychopaths decided I was to be their latest torture victim. I was held hostage for two years, the pain was terrible. Everything was terrible. I honestly don't know how I survived and I wish I hadn't because.. LOOK AT ME," I yelled. "I'm a complete mess because of them. I am nothing nor will I ever be. Was my purpose in life solely to let people have their way with me?"

"It was God's will." She chuckled and surprising both of us, I did too.

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I know it's really short but I haven't updated in a while. I don't really like this chapter but it will have to do. I'll make Saturday's uploading day.