My Roommates A Player - Completed

thirteen

1 3.

~*~

I was going through something similar to my past life and I'd been trying to escape from those memories. Photography provides comfort, it tells a story behind a taken picture.

What did I ever do to Ryan? Why did he want to do this to me? During my time in the bathroom, I realized that nobody's perfect and therefore they try to be. Everyone had their problems and insecurities, finding a way to solve them. Ryan for instance, sleeps with a bunch of girls to get over what he's going through. It doesn't justify any sense of comfort.

Jasmine's struggling with concentration and even if she doesn't want to show it, it's still visible from her appearance. Her lack of sleep clearly shown. But she didn't make other people suffer with her.

Hunter's going through a phase where he doesn't know what he wanted to do with his life. Sure, he loved swimming, but he seemed to be struggling with his classes. Still, he doesn't let anyone suffer with him.

I was going through my feelings I'd been trying to hide since I broke up with Jack. Ryan was blaming me, or taking his problems out on me. What was he getting out of this? Satisfaction? Love? Still, it didn't justify any sense of comfort, or affection.

Even if I let Ryan in, I'd probably never give him what he wanted. Just like I couldn't give Jack what he wanted. I'd been void ever since. But prior to that, Jack came into my life thinking he would make me happy.

I didn't understand how feelings worked but I knew they were very dangerous to play with. Also, I knew how much a heart break hurt. I was just another naive girl with stupid, unnecessary feelings; especially to a player.

Again, Ryan was no different from Jack. They were like a switch—made you think that they're interested and just when you think you're happy—that they're going to make you happy, they switch and you're back to a aching heart.

Sitting crossed legged on the cool bathroom tiles, I leaned my head back against the wall, letting the cold rip through my body. Just like how cold my heart was.

It was past eight, and my heart still hurt. It's not like the pain was going to disappear with a snap of a finger. Ryan came knocking on the door.

"Leave me alone," I said in a whisper surprised that he even heard me.

Ryan sighed as I heard him lean his head against the door. "Lydia, how many times should I apologize and tell you how sorry I am?"

I stayed silent.

"If you don't come out now, I'll break the door."

"Do whatever you want," I grumbled with a eye roll. "Like you always do."

He was rebellious and he knew that. Getting away with breaking innocent girls heart—and as much as I hate to admit this, I was combined in that category. Maybe I was the one that fell the hardest or maybe not, either way, I was not going through that again.

"Please," he pleaded in a whiny manner. "I'm sorry. Please open the door so we talk about this."

Letting out a harsh, bitter laugh. "Ha, talk about about what? Your sex life? No thanks, I'll pass."

"Fine," he snapped.

Moments later, the bathroom door came crashing open, nearly falling ontop of me. I gasped as I stood up from the floor, staring into his blue eyes.

His expression remained unfazed, eyes blue and hair messy. "Are you on steroids or something? Why would you break down the door? I have my rights for privacy, in case you forgot," I said folding my arms over my chest as I tilted my head to the side.

Ryan scoffed. "I warned you."

With the deepest eyeroll I could muster, I walked passed him and into our room. Ryan not far behind as he brushed his fingers through his hair. "Okay, look... I'll make it up to you. What do you need me to do?'

I spun around and looked at him. "I'm not going to let you hurt my feelings. If you want my forgiveness so badly, you'd leave me alone."

Hurt flashed across his strong features as he looked defeated. "I'm not perfect—I have my flaws, I have my bad moments, but that neccesarily make me a bad person."

He was right, but I wasn't going to let him know that. I took my duffel bag from underneath my bed, stuffing clothes in it before swinging it around my shoulder.

"Where you off to?"

"I want nothing to do with you!" I yelled unintentionally. "I don't want to talk to you. I can't even look at your right now. You disrespect me way too much. I'm sorry, I have to go."

On my way to the door, the question I'd been dying to ask him came from his mouth, "you know why I do it?"

I stayed put with my back still shown to him. "Because my mother hates me, Lydia. She gave me away when I was still young and I grew up in a foster home. It fucking hurts to know that your damn mother hates you."

There was a lump in my throat, a big fat one at that, so I swallowed it down still saying nothing. He continued, "please, just give me one chance, just one."

"I have to go," I said instead of giving him an answer to his question. I'd given him so many chances that I couldn't even keep count.

"I'm coming with you," Ryan said as he stood up from my bed and I turned around to look at him.

"No, you're not," I said, "you heard what Professor David said, I should help you with study sessions and that's it. Don't you even dare to follow me because I'll kick you in the balls."

To my utter surprise, Ryan barked out laughing—a full belly laugh. "Balls huh?"

I threw my hands up in the air. "You think this is funny? Just—just go out with your football friends or something."

He shoved his hands into his pockets. "So, are we cool?"

"You know what? I'm starting to feel something," I said pretending to think about it.

"Really? I knew it," Ryan grinned exposing a row of full white teeth.

"It's something I don't like," I stated as his grin evaporated from his lips. "And it's being around you."

Leaving him behind in the room, I stepped out and slammed the door shut, not liking the aching in my chest. It was for the best anyway, so neither of us have to suffer from pain, and heartache.

~*~

A/N:

this is soo emotional lol. what do you think? lemme know by dropping a comment or hitting the star button!

you’re beautiful and that’s a fact, so slay.