The first thing you should know is that I live on the beach. I grew up surfing and running around in the sand. I also loved to ride my bike and skateboard. We had made videos called Flagler Fails. I GRES up with boys and I started to like one of them. He had black hair and really tan skin. He looked like he was from India, even though he had no accent and was raised in Florida.
In 2011, 5th grade, we started dating. At the time was standing on the side of my house with me. We had been dating for about a week, and I obviously wasn't ready to make any decisions. We were alone. Then he said two words that have been haunting my memory since. "Wanna kiss?" I shook my head immediately. I wasn't ready. I mean, it was my first kiss and I wanted it to be with someone I truly cared about. I was confused whether it was going to be him or not. Suddenly, I was slammed into the wall. Apparently, I said the wrong thing. He pinned my arms against the wall, the bumpy concrete digging into my skin. He kept getting closer, and I felt helpless. I couldn't move my legs or my arms and he was getting closer. I really didn't want to kiss him, mainly because if I gave in to that, he would be able to go further. He leaned in and I kneed him in the crotch. He backed up and fell to the ground. I ran into my house and ran up to my room. My parents didn't notice. I sat in a corner holding a pillow with tears dripping down my face. That's the day I lost my trust. That's the day I lost myself.
The day after, I broke up with him. I wasn't gonna let anyone push me around like that.
I didn't listen to anyone after that, besides my three best friends. I never lived my life the way I wanted to. I never did anything I wanted to. I lost sight of who I am. And it wasn't until one person, 3 years later, helped me up.
