I started hanging out more and more with the guys. And I noticed something. They were all as washed and rung out as I was. They were tired of wearing a façade.
“Annie, toss me my cigs.” Xander said from the doorway, he’d left them on the coffee table. I got up and walked them over to him. We needed to talk anyways. He walked me down the steps and we stood outside. Surprisingly it wasn’t raining. April had come to a close and May started to bloom.
A few five feet away, stood the tree line, where wild daffodils sprung up with intense yellow. Me and Xander leaned up against the back wall of the record store, him with a light cigarette between his teeth, me trying to figure out what the Hell to say.
We hadn’t spoken really since that day in Adam’s room.
I settled with a simple thank you. He looked down at me, blue eyes intense. “What for?” Xander’s eyebrows knit together intricately; seemingly alive caterpillars arched low on his forehead. To find the answer, I looked up at the sky. Adam wouldn’t be able to hear me now.
It wasn’t night time, he wasn’t awake. The stars weren’t out, neither was he.
Such emotion filled me, a warm and fuzzy one. It swelled in my chest and I couldn’t help but share it. So I hugged Xander as simply as I could. No squeezing, no shortness of breath. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder. It was a thank you hug. I genuine type of hug.
He dropped his cigarette in surprise.
“Annie?” He asked, not relaxing into the hug.
“Hug me back, godammit.” I mumbled into his shirt and hesitantly he did. We stayed like that for a while, actually. It’s only awkward if you make it awkward, which guy always do. So, yeah, my Thank You Hug was ruined.
“Annie, I’m two years older than you…”
“Oh, shut up.” I grumbled and continued to repay him for a time I’ll never be able to repay. I’d forever be grateful he cared that much about Adam. I’d forever be grateful he cared that much about me.
YOU ARE READING
A Is For Adam...
Teen FictionHe was the best and worst older brother. I thought I'd never be able to say, "hey, you turned out to not be a complete douche". His smile was the best, his influence changed my world. His death knocked me off balance. he died for a monster named Her...
