3. September 2017
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."
- Oscar Wilde
The Death-Cast didn't call me today, because I wasn't going to die, but I wasn't living either. See, the two are very different.
Not-dying would be the same as simply existing in the universe. Living would be out there, making a difference; leaving a mark and make sure people remember you. It makes me sad to think that I haven't made any big impacts on any lives.
Lidia almost slapped me when I said this.
I don't know whether she's right or not, but either way, it doesn't feel like I'm living.
My dad went into a coma just a few weeks ago. The apartment has been quiet ever since. Except when I listen to Space Sounds. A couple of years ago a NASA team build an instrument which could record the sound planets made. I always feel so small when listening to it.
My views on the subject completely change depending on my mood, though.
When I'm happy, I listen to the sounds knowing the universe is infinite. That it's endless which also equals endless possibilities. That I can be whoever I want. Like my dad always told me. When I'm sad, I listen to the sounds knowing the universe is infinite. That I have a tiny role in the long run. That I'm not important. That no one truly needs me.
Lidia, who is my best friend, doesn't like when I get dark thoughts like that. But sometimes things aren't great, and I can't help it.
She's been pushing me to go out more, even offering to go with me. Though for that to happen, she needs to know a week prior, otherwise she can't find someone to take care of Penny. Though I never know what my mood will be one week ahead of time.
I keep scrolling through the CountDowners-Blog. There aren't any new uploads this time of the day. People are only just now discovering they are Deckers, and maybe their first thought isn't to upload on the blog. I've already read the old ones, but sometimes I like to read them again. It's comforting to have this kind of consistency.
One of the reasons I like to stay up late is that I have the whole world to myself. No one will disturb me (except maybe the Death-Cast but hopefully not yet) and I can do whatever I want. I can take an hour-long shower and eat apples with whipped cream. No one will ever know.
.:lll:.
.:lll:.
.:lll:.
Author here. This chapter is very short, and the future ones will be longer! I hope you'll enjoy this story and stick with me till the end where both Mateo and Rufus live :D
YOU ARE READING
They Both Live At The End
Fanfiction(in progress) ~ Mateo is lonely and Rufus is heartbroken. They find each other on a random night, intertwining their destinies forever. Mateo doesn't wanna regret anything and Rufus will help him. But no matter what happens, they both live at the en...
