Steven Universe Future: Isolation

Chapter Four: A Losing Battle

His entire body hurt and the screams pierced his ears like knives. But it felt so good. The pain. The panic. The boiling rage. The song that hummed along in his ears like a high-pitched ring. For once, he didn't need to think. He didn't need to be better. He didn't need to make anything better. He didn't need to be needed. He could just be himself.

It felt so good to feel. To let it all go. To lose control.

He didn't need to bottle it all away. Hiding was a thing of the past. This was who he was now. He didn't care anymore.

At least, that's what he wanted to believe.

The screams beneath him as people scattered pulled at his heartstrings. He didn't know their faces, he didn't know their voices; he didn't know anything about them other than he wanted to care about them. He didn't want them hurt. He didn't want them to be afraid.

And yet...he did.

No, he didn't.

Yes. Yes he did.

He shook his head as if trying to clear his head from the voice that told him to stand down; to stop that annoying little pang of guilt that kept him from crushing the town beneath his feet. He was so tired of being the one to stop threats. Of being the one that took the punches and the blame.

Of being torn between the person everyone expected him to be and not knowing who he was supposed to be.

The song in his head grew louder as if agreeing with him. It drowned out the voice that held him back and urged him to continue forward. It acted like it knew him. Like it could show him his true self. He was a monster, like his mother before him, who hid under the guise of helping others. And now, he had no mask. No purpose. No one to help.

No reason to repress that side of him.

But the chains of guilt wrapped around his mind again as a voice rang through his head. The voice of the gem he had nearly crushed under his hand. Though she was long gone, he could still hear her. Her words meant nothing to him at the time. But her tone was soft. Scared. Like she knew him. Like he knew her.

The first coherent thought he had hit him like a truck and caused him to freeze where he stood, his eyes fixated on the ground, but unseeing. He nearly killed her.

An ache unlike anything he experienced exploded in his chest, but before he could put a name to it, the ringing in his ears lessened. It morphed into a lullaby and its cold words cooled the burning in his chest. He breathed in sync with it and he felt the ache lessen as all thoughts were brushed away from his mind.

That aching part of him was so tired. He felt it struggle, but it was weak. It knew it couldn't win. He wouldn't be bottle away any longer. He growled lowly to match the tune of the song and felt that annoying part of him succumb.

The moment the chain snapped, he stopped caring about the ones on the ground. They were ants to him. They meant nothing to him. Just as he meant nothing to them.

The monster was free.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Garnet left Sadie, Shep, and Kiki to head to the warp pad that was nestled safely in the temple. Pearl was already there and pushing away what debris Amethyst left on it. Pearl had reformed and met the purple gemstone just after she sent Lion off to get Connie.

Pearl nodded to Garnet, her face distraught, but determined.

"The Diamonds should be here any second now," she said before she faced the warp again. "I just hope they help."