Love The Game: Overtime

Chapter 23

Holy fucking hell my head hurts so god damn much. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling. That's not my ceiling. I sat up and the headache felt like it was going to split my skull open. I ran my hands through my hair and looked around the room. This isn't my room. This isn't Sara's room either. This isn't my apartment. What the hell happened last night? How the hell did I even get here.

I looked around the room again. I don't know if I've ever been here before. I looked down at myself. I'm only in my bra and my underwear. How did that happen? I looked farther down and to my left and saw Callie in the bed with me. No no no no. I scooted away from her as far as possible. I fell off the bed with a thud and then I backed up into the wall. Shit. No. No. I can't breathe. I put my head in my hands. My head feels like it's going to explode. I stood up and started putting my clothes on. They were folded and on the nightstand. I scrambled to put them on. I made so much noise that I must've woken up Callie. She started sitting up from the bed.

"Avery?" She was wiping the sleep out of her eyes. I didn't say anything. I just continued to put my clothes on.

"Avery?" I put on my jacket and stared at the wall.

"Avery say something." I finally looked up at her and I know my eyes were piercing. Her face dropped. I couldn't say anything. I put my phone in my pocket turned around and walked out of the room. I have no idea where the fuck I am. I tried to find the door to this god damn apartment. Before I could Callie came out in sweats and a t-shirt.

"Avery stop!" She grabbed my arm and tried to stop me.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I yelled. Callie let go and took a step back.

"Avery..."

"No! Don't say anything. Don't even try." I walked out the door and slammed it behind me. I had to get out of the apartment. I started walking away really fast, trying to get away. Trying to outrun what I just did. I turned around because I could hear Callie calling my name behind me. When I started looking ahead again I ran right into someone. I backed up so I could see who it was. When I saw her my heart stopped. It was Alex. Fuck.

"Avery?" I didn't say anything. I just ran. I ran down the stairs. When I got down them I realized I had no idea where the fuck it was. I reached in my jacket pocket and found my keys. Thank god. I pushed the button about a hundred times trying to get the car to honk. When it did I ran to my car. I kept trying to push the unlock button but my stupid fucking car wouldn't do it. I was pulling the handle and I was trying to open the car door and it wouldn't open. I felt the tears running down my face. I turned and put my back against the floor and sunk down to the floor. What did I do? I sat on the ground and cried. I don't know how long I was on the ground but I know it was a while. There were other cars around mine so no one could really see me. When I stood up I felt like my legs were going to give out. I turned around and pulled the handle on my car door. It opened. I got in my car and sat there staring at the dashboard. The clock said 11:45. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and tried to turn it on. It's dead. I grabbed the charger that I have in the car and plugged my phone in. I rested my head on the steering wheel. I was expecting my phone to start buzzing like crazy as soon as it got some charge but it was silent. Then I remembered. It's on do not disturb. I looked down at my phone. With shaky hands I reached for the device. I don't want to open it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to know. I picked it up and opened my phone. I had a ton of missed calls and text from Sara. All of them begging me to come home. The lump in my throat was so big I thought I might suffocate. I felt like all the air in the world was being sucked out and into outer space. My lungs were small because they had no air in them. I felt like my brain was swelling, trying to burst out of my skull. I read some of the texts.

Ave please come home

Avery at least tell me where you are

Are you okay?

Where are you?

Please come home. I'm sorry. I love you.

Ave please.

I have to go home. There's no avoiding it. There's no getting out of this. I have no idea where the fuck I am. I put on the GPS to take me home. Home. I'm almost 30 minutes away from where I live. How the fuck did that happen? I don't remember how I got here or even leaving the party. I ran my hands through my hair and tried to calm down.

I put my car in reverse and started home. I have to tell her. But what if I don't. I can't lie to her. I can't not tell her. If I tell her she'll never forgive me. I drove in absolute silence. Both my hands were on the steering wheel. I have to tell her. I can't tell her. God everything hurts. I can't breathe. I stared at the road. I can't breathe. The air is being taken out of my body and not by choice. I can't get enough air. Suddenly I'm gasping for air. I pulled over at some park and got off the car. I ran over to some bushes and puked my lungs out. I can't do this to her. How could I have done this. I love her so fucking much. Why did I do this?

I got back in the car and put my hands through my hair. I drank some water from a water bottle that I had in my car. I started my car and tried to drive home. My mind was going a hundred miles a minute. I was half way home when all of my thoughts stopped. For one second, they all stopped. For just a little bit all I did was drive.

I pulled into the parking lot of our place and sat in my car. It's 12:39. How could this have happened? How could I have let this happen? I fucked up. I got out of my car and started for the stairs. The events of last night just keep replaying in my head. I didn't have to do it. I didn't have to go out. There were so many chances for me to turn around and go home. So many thoughts were flooding my brain, but there's one that had remained silent until now. Sara will never forgive me. I stopped in the middle of the stairwell. I'm not breathing. The tears were already building behind my eyes again. I stood there perfectly still until I could breathe again. I continued until I got to the door. I have to tell her. There's no other way; I have to tell her.

With shaky hands I pulled out my key, unlocked the door and then slowly turned the door knob and opened the door. I put my keys on the little hook we have by the door and walked towards what will be the worst moment of my life. All the lights in the house were off except the one in the living room. When I reached the living room Sara was sitting on the couch with her legs and arms crossed. She knows.

"Sara I..."

"Don't." She won't look at me. Her voice was broken.

"I didn't..."

"You didn't what? You didn't mean to fuck her?" She was standing now and looking right at me. Her honey brown eyes were filled with anger and tears.

"I'm so sorry."

"You're sorry? Is that all you have to say?" We were both crying now. There's nothing I could say or do to make this right.

"Sara, she doesn't mean anything to me." I'm not standing right.

"If she doesn't mean anything then why'd you go with her? Of all people why her?" I felt off balance.

"I was angry. She told me about a party. So, I went. I didn't mean to leave with her. I didn't go just for that. I didn't mean to." I feel like I'm about to fall over.

"We had a fight Avery! I was angry too. But I didn't cheat. I was here. All night. Waiting for you to come home, but you never did." Her voice got so quiet at the end that it came out as a whisper.

"I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it back. I wish I had come home." I walked over to her. Shew as wiping tears out of her eyes.

"I'm so fucking sorry. Sara I can't lose you. I love you so much. I fell to my knees and hugged her. I felt her hand in my hair.

"No Avery. Sorry isn't going to fix this."

"Sara please don't do this." I was on my knees holding onto her for dear life. I couldn't see her face but from her voice I knew that tears were falling from her honey brown eyes.

"What did you think would happen Avery? Did you really think we could just go back to normal?" She gently pushed me off of her. She wouldn't look at me. I stood up and watched her turn around and walk out. I was expecting a loud thud that came with the door slamming, I was waiting for it, hoping for it, praying for it, but it never came. She didn't slam the door. She didn't make a sound as she left.