A memoir In despair

Different kind of depressed

It has been 18 days since i had not talked to her and there is not been a single day since than when i i not feel like today she is gonna call. Maybe she is not the problem neither are all the girls in my past relationships, i seriously think its always been my self destructive nature. But whatever lets not dwell on my shortcomings here, we should really look on some of my bright sides here. Well guess there are not any bright sides to my charachter here. if we talk about my life than its been 6 months of college now and i still feels stranger to this place and all the people i dont why on the contrast all the other people are growing to be very fond of this place day after day, its like they want to re-create some days of fun which they adore but i know what they are trying to do because i can see it through them because it is something we all are trying to do which is just to fill an empty void inside them by the only measure of happines which they have seen and they think that fuck this what 100% happines looks like, but you gotta admit the problem with our generation everbody gotta broken heart. Well everybody atleast pretend so, maybe its because they think its cool to be sad but i guess they dont just know yet. So while we are talking about sadness lets talk about the root cause for that in todays teenagers world that are relationships. I really dont dig the idea of how 2 people starts to date today. I have a friend which started to date my other friend and when asked her about the relation, i get to know she had'nt even met the guy which really freaks me out than ofcourse you are gonna have problems you dont know what the person really is. For instance the person can turn out to be a faggot perv which likes to masturbate while looking at your mums pics. I dont why i said that but it must be fuckin hilarious when you think about it. So that could be one of many reasons why i hate relations or i am just fooling myself or its the other people fooling themselves i dont know. But i really dont understand why people are so afraid to be alone its like they have a constant need to feel important or adored by someone, if u see they are the addicts, actually we all are addicts in our own little way craving for the happines by any means we know of.