flames | The Lost Boys (1987) | revised

| FOURTEEN|

As I stared at the walls of the cave, I began to think to myself. When was the last time I had been outside? It had been quite a bit, I knew, but the days were beginning to blend together since I didn't see the sunlight much anymore. The walls were also becoming more and more cramped; it was beginning to feel like they were closing in on me.

On the other hand, I didn't want to leave. I was scared, I'll admit. The boys had reminded me time and time again that we could leave if we wanted. The lost couldn't leave the forest. At least, that's what the books had said. Still, they had been there, in my yard, the night my house was set on fire, and they had- they had killed my family. That meant they were able to get at least a bit past the woods. That meant that there was a possibility they were near the cave- that they were waiting for us to leave.

I paced in front of the fountain in the middle of the living room. Go ten steps forward. Turn around. Ten steps forward. Turn around. Repeat again and again and try to ignore the stares from the boys. They tried to hide it, at least, but they weren't very good at it. There was that itch under my skin that always came with it.

"I need to go outside," I declared, turning to look at David. "I need to go somewhere, anywhere. I don't know how much longer I can stay here."

David tilted his head and bit at the cord to the headphones he had halfway on. "Are you sure?"

I let out a shaky laugh and shook my head. "Absolutely fucking not."

David didn't seem very convinced at my response, and he looked like he was going to say no when I heard Marko let out a giggle and turned to see him biting his thumb from where he was perched on the backrest of the couch. "Come on, David! When's the last time we went to the boardwalk besides to eat? I want to steal! Get in a fight!"

"God, I want to get in a fight," Paul grumbled from his position on the fountain behind me.

David looked to Dwayne who was skating around the area, and Dwayne shrugged his shoulders. "I wouldn't mind nicking something."

David sighed and pulled off his headphones completely before pulling out a cigarette and putting it to his lips. "Go get ready then."

Marko immediately jumped up and pulled me farther into the cave, a laugh bubbling from him. I stumbled behind him, barely being able to stay in place. "Where are we going, baby?"

Marko threw a look over his shoulder to me before pulling me into the room I had claimed as mine. "I want to pick out your outfit! It's stupid, but I think it'd be fun! Is that okay?"

I smiled and nodded, and he pecked my lips before running towards my piles of clothes. I sat on the bed and watched him, warmth settling in my chest at his excitement.

The boys had brought all of my belongings to the cave a few days after I found my family dead. Anything they figured I would like was placed into boxes and moved into the cave. Well, anything that wasn't covered in blood.

The death of them was still on the back of my mind at all times, like a weight that was holding me down, but it was beginning to become manageable. I wasn't in my bed anymore, which was a good sign, I suppose. There were moments of happiness again, big spurts of it that made me feel like I was walking on clouds, and then it was gone, and I was breaking down in someone's arms over something simple that triggered a memory of one of them.

Still, I was becoming used to the idea of them not being around anymore. It was strange. Sometimes I caught myself about to tell the boys to stop by my house or I would think to myself that I needed to tell my aunt about something later, and then it would hit that they weren't around anymore. I knew my mother wasn't that good of a mother, but I still missed her. Part of me wished I had tried harder to get her to love me again. My aunt was harder to take, and I hated to think about it, but she choked me up when I thought about her while my mother just made me cry. It was a horrible thought, but I didn't miss my mother as much.