I broke down last night, and I felt everything like it was new.
Turned to metaphysical guidance, looking for you.
When the secret came out, our world came crumbling down
Our imperfect paracosm, inconsistencies put out of mind.
The sickening shock stole my stability, like a rug pulled out from under me.
I didn't think you were capable of cruelty,
but even if the world wasn't the way you made it out to be
I could never call you cruel.
I broke down last night and held the bear once cradled by you.
Your words were grander than life itself
Each personal letter dripping in the essence of you
Even the suffering became beautiful too
I miss the little things you used to do
Your intelligence bled into everything you said
I loved that sort of thing to death.
Last night, the numbness stepped aside
Made way for waves of grief
For the first time in months, I thought about the miles
I thought about the years, what we had become.
I thought about where we are now,
and how I hope you're infinitely better than you used to be.
I don't want to go back, but I do.
And I know it'll take time to restore trust in you.
But I don't hate you the way you think I do.
So if you see this, put the work in on you.
That's all I want.
Be safe. I'm doing okay.
