False Hope

Chapter 13: All's Well That Ends Well

"I think... you're a little too high," she said and dropped her arms from around him.

No sooner than he opened his mouth, she caught the scent of something she knew all too well from working in the medical field. He was high on pain killers. She didn't know how intense the pain had to be for him to take such a large amount. Either that or he was just stupid.

She felt stupid. She should have known better than to fall for his silly display. The tenderness, the enchantment, it all came down to some silly pain killers. He was too pleased with her as a result. He shouldn't have been happy with her especially after their fight yesterday. The things that drugs could do to the mind were dangerous. As close as he was now she could see that his eyelids drooped and there was almost a crazed look in his eyes.  He seemed almost groggy and there was a sway in the way he stood. He was high.

He noticed her disapproval and looked down at her with an almost guilty grin. He took a few steps back and walked back to the lazy boy where he would, no doubt, reflect on what he did.

Going to her kitchen she opened the medicine cabinet and looked for his prescription. When she found the small green bottle, she realized that there were three missing from the amount that should have been left from today.

She walked back into the living room to find him slowly rocking back and forth on the lazy boy. "I'm letting Tami keep these when I'm gone so you don't end up regretting anything that you could possibly do. You can't be high on narcotics all the time."

He didn't even look up at her. He just stood there with his chin in his hand. There was something in the air that she could sense. In his eyes, she saw guilt, anger... longing.

"Daniel," she breathed, "you need to tell me. You need to tell me now."

"I don't need to tell you anything," he still didn't look at her. He almost growled it.

"Yes, you do. How did you know? How do you know that I feel so..." He looked up at her then. "And then, yesterday you were telling me how I lure you in but then pull back only to hurt you when you do the same thing."

He sighed, stood up, and walked over. Put his hands on her shoulders, "You just know something's wrong when the person you care about is hurting. It's that simple."

His hand drifted down to her wrist. He picked it up, looked at the spot where he'd kissed it. Then with his head down drew in a sharp breath, "I'm sorry Sweetheart. I can hardly control myself when I'm around you. I can't even stand the thought of someone else even touching you."

She fought to hold back tears. She couldn't deny what she felt for him. It was like denying the sky was blue. Completely illogical. "Daniel I-"

"I know," the glint in his eyes made her feel as if she'd been holding her breath forever and was finally allowed to breathe, "you can't do this. It's the same thing every time. But you have never ever told me how you feel. That's what keeps putting us in this position. So please Lily, tell me how you feel and we can stop hurting ourselves."

She drew in a breath, held it hoping that he would say something, but she knew that the only way to get out of this was to voice what was going through her head and the thought of that was scarier than the reality of losing Tami. Letting the secret out, to all of a sudden disunite bleeding words from her head and heart was like drowning and coming up for a breath of air only to sink beneath the waves again.

She was breathing heavily. Her heartbeat was erratic. It was a scene playing in front of her. He was up so close that she could see her reflection in his eyes. She was afraid, she was touched, she was intrigued. At the moment she hated her brain. It was telling her she could get out of this simply by kissing him and she wouldn't have to tell him anything at all. But her heart told her differently. Not yours.