If I Were A Boy (camren)

Chapter Eleven

I wasn't suppose to be up; the doctors had put my on strict bed rest for about a week, but here I was wandering around the halls of the hospital at one o'clock in the morning. The hospital was basically empty, other than a few nurses and doctor whom were assigned the night shift, but it wasn't so easy for a girl like me with an IV roller to get around. I almost was caught tonight by an elder doctor, but his age made him seem clueless to the noise.

The other night I was caught and brought back to my room; after I had retrieved Camila's room information.

So here I was, the small hours of the morning, limping my way down the ghost hallways of a silent hospital to Camila Cabello's room. It wasn't long before I found it, and to my luck as well, the door was surprisngly unlocked. I had come prepared with a key to her room as well; which I had snagged from the front desk from the past day. I slowly creaked into the room, quietly shutting the door in attempt to not make a sound. The sight of Camila laying completely still in her hospital bed made me cringe; totally regretting the idea of coming in. No one else had explained to me what had happened: just the fact that Camila had been in a car accident. No one knows where she was going because she hasn't spoken a word; which the doctor's say they are pretty sure she should be able to do, speak.

"Hey Camz," I find myself gulping out before settling down in a chair beside her bed; for visitors. I'm not a visitor though, I'm another patient. Nor a friend, anymore at least to Camila. "God, you look like shit. We both look like shit, right?"

I chuckle to myself as my eyes begin to water up. I wipe at them carelessly before moving my right hand to hover over her face, which is the same, except for a crooked new line upon her forehead. It cuts horizontaly across the body part, but is concealed mostly by a clear bandaid; to protect the stitches. I carefully run the pad of my thumb across her injury, and instantly pull away as she takes a loud snort of air. A smile spreads across my face at her casual action, but soon fades when a thought comes to my mind.

"You're so fucking lucky, Camz," I suddenly blurt out and instantly cover my mouth, but then move it away before realizing she's in a deep sleep. I decide to continue on, "Your damage is temporary, you lived through it, Camila. You got in a car accident, and lived. I mean, I think so, or we're both in heaven right now together. My attacks are permanant. I'm not suppose to know that yet, but I overheard my mom talking to the doctors."

"The panic attacks," I sniffle before repeating Teddy's words before. "They're over you, Camila." The four word confession had me let out a deep sigh. I hadn't believed in them at first, but now they were becoming true and very clear. I rest my elbows against my thighs and then place my head against my palms just as a random migrain was coming on, "Shit. I shouldn't have come here."

Just as raise from my seat with my left hand massaging, a sudden warmth grips around my wrist.

"Do you want me to call a nurse from my button?" A familiar raspy voice attempts to soothe me. My eyes widen at the utter hotness raging from her tone; it's unexplainable.

Without turning around, I manage to stutter out, "I-I made my way here, I think I can make it back."

"Lauren, you don't look well," Camila pushes.

"Camila, you don't get it," I laugh rudely. "I, can, do it."

Right when I place my free hand on the door knob, Camila angerly speaks up, "You think this is fucking temprorary? Lauren, I still have the image in my mind. The driver's deep scream, it's never going to leave me!"

I don't respond, but just blantly stare at the plain door after figuring she had heard everything.

"God damn it, Lauren! Please just look at me!" She commands, making me spin around and rage towards her; Camila cowers back a bit and the frustrated expression on my face drops. Her breathing bounces off my cheek, indetifying that we are inches away from each other.