NAMED TO SMILE ➳ KAKUHIDA

NAMED TO SMILE

| N A M E D T O S M I L E |

Naruto

KakuHida

Slight AU

(Warnings; suicidal thoughts, hallucinations, gore, implied character death, angst.)

Foreword

A long time ago, Hidan's parents told him that if he smiled, that if he laughed, everything would be okay.

—

Hidan thought he was destined for great things. Becoming Jashin's favorite priest, so on so forth.

Hidan thought that his life was pretty damn good, rituals were improving almost everyday, and-

-his relationship with Kakuzu, (that goddamn miser, he thought fondly), was going pretty well, even though they had not been officially dating or anything.

Yet, it clearly became apparent that it was in fact, too good to be true, when he found himself at the bottom of that Jashin forsaken pit; crushed, suffocated, dismembered, and-

-and alone.

Kakuzu'll come, he thinks, hours after his defeat.

Yet, days pass, and Hidan's still alone.

Maybe if he had just paid attention-

(-just goddamn maybe), and had not mistook his blood for that damned Nara brat's, Kakuzu-

-Kakuzu could've been here, alive. Hidan chokes on a maggot, and it's disgusting. He thinks he deserves it though, he thinks he is the reason that Kakuzu, Kakuzu is... dead, dead, gone.

"...Kakuzu..." He rasps, grasping at straws. "...please..."

–

It's been four days since Hidan's defeat. Kakuzu is gone, he can tell.

And it's all so excruciating, that he can't die yet, that he's gone-

-and all Hidan wants to do is end it, and seek peace in slumber. Maybe he'll dream of Kakuzu there, who knows?

His chest hurts, (wherever it is), his eyes hurt, his head hurts-

-everything hurts, and Hidan wants to cry.

Kakuzu's gone, he repeats in his head for the umpteenth time.

–

It's been six days. Hidan's done crying, he'd been at it for the past two days, falling through whimpers and sobs that barely reached the top of the pit.

He wants to die. Hidan wants to die.

So he laughs. It's cool and hysterical—the kind where you can't believe the worst things are happening to you, yet, when you open your eyes and regain consciousness, they are.

Who would've thought that his strength would hinder him so badly from what he vied for?

Hidan doesn't know how to react anymore, he's sad, he's smiling, crying.

He thinks that maybe when the Nara brat comes around on his next patrol he'll ask him to kill him.

And at this point, anything seems sweeter than continuing to live; sad, dirty, and in pieces in that disgusting hellhole.

And either way, he's still be alone.

(No small praise that made his heart patter, no small side hug whenever they'd been alone in a room together-)