Stars

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"Come on," he whispers, patting the ground again.  The moon is high and full, the sky is an explosion of stars.  I settle down next to him, drugged by the heat of his body curved around mine.

    "Come right on down here with me, honey," he says, "and let's look at the sky."

    The night's brilliance is staggering.  I don't know if it was just because I'd become accustomed to the bustle of L.A. or the pounding in my heart was messing with my head, but this was the most beautiful night I'd ever seen.  Even the skies at Ruby Farm paled in comparison.

    I soaked in the cool night air as I felt Sam's body close around mine, his heat the antithesis of a crisp Vermont fall.

    The garden nights of our childhood were filled with stories and laughter as we poured our hearts and souls.  Those words tonight went unspoken.  In the darkness, we held each other, and like that we remained for what seemed an eternity.  There was no Milkweed.  There was no Ian.  There was no paparazzi.  No Luther.  No Charlie.  No Roberta.  No Marco.  No media.  No sabotage.  No past nor future.  There was only me and Sam, and in that moment, I knew that he was all I would ever need.

    As his breathing slowed to a steady beat, I looked up at the sky.  I'd never seen so many stars before, but there still weren't enough.

    "Aren't enough what?" Sam slurred.  I thought he'd been asleep, but he must have been coherent enough to make out my mumblings.

    "Stars," I replied, gently stroking his arms as they held me, playing with the sleeves of his blue flannel.  "There aren't enough stars in the sky to match the reasons why I love you."

    Sam didn't respond, and I was thankful.  I knew I could be open with him, but it was hard to let anyone in.

    Only a beat passed before he brought me closer.  I realize his silence was intentional, the writer's strongest weapon. 

I felt his strength engulf engulf me as I lay in his arms, our bed the grass of his childhood home. We didn't have sex.  We didn't undress.  We didn't even say goodnight.  But in that moment, I had never felt more loved.

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 07, 2019 ⏰

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