To Kiss a Lonely Heart

Chapter 1: The Way I Feel

So here I am, yet again alone for another year. I went through three years of high school without a guy on my arm to share my experiences with and it just felt like a complete waste of time. As i stare back into the mirror playing with my face, i think of all the possibilities as to why I'm still alone. Alone. Huh, yup, its safe to say that's my life's motto as of right now, possibly for the rest of my life. I check myself out wondering what reasons could there be as to why I lay down every night with out someone telling me good night beautiful or see you soon bae. Bae. Is it just a want or a need? Do I need someone to tell me I'm beautiful every single day? I mean just look at me, I have these long limbs, chiseled face features, flat butt, and barely a chest. I'm not the typical coke bottle shaped girl guys wish to obtain in their lives one day. Yes, I have the most wavy blonde hair, so wavy fish could drown in it, some may actually call it beautiful. I have a smile that the sun cannot compete with and eyes that shine like jade brightened by moonlight. But maybe its not my looks, maybe it could be my personality, the way I carry myself.  But I carry myself with the upmost respect, well at least in my opinion. Some may say I'm rude or colorful, but I liked to be considered eccentric. I stare back into the mirror wondering will this year be my chance to actually find the one. He's out there and I'm just wondering why God hasn't shown him yet. I've been through a lot in the past years and I need a comfort to rest my shoulder on and to wipe my tears away giving me the light to my darkest days.

   I finally decided to get away from the mirror for a few minutes to get ready for school. I brush my teeth and wash my face with my DIY face scrub, thanks to YouTube. I proceed into my room and grab my clothes hanging from the wall. I walk back into the bathroom to begin my hair and makeup. Completely dressed, I begin to wing my eyeliner. Not even half way across my eyelid, a loud banging on the door startles me which causes me to draw my eyeliner all the way up my eye and halfway up my forehead. My face begins to burn red with frustration. I know it's my brother hinting me that he wants to shower.

"What do you want!" I say through clenched teeth, rubbing away the access eyeliner.

"Come on man let me take a shower, the bus comes in like 34 minutes and I dont have time for you to try and look cute cause you know you ugly anyway." He says unknowingly at the fact how his comment hurt on so many levels. I quickly brush it off and open the door grabbing my makeup. As I open the door, my brother's ripe smell brushes against my face causing my mascara to melt into my eyes, burning them.

"Damn Royce, you gonna need more than 34 minutes, cause your ass smell like pure hot garbage." I tell him with a disgusted face. He pushes me out the way without a clever come back like he usually does. I go into my room and apply the finishing touches to my face. I take a last glance in the mirror looking at my outfit. Black parachute pants that stop at my ankle,  black blazer with golden buttons the size of quarters with white accent stripes down the sleeves, hot pink pointed flats, and to finish it all off, a neat bun, resting on the crown of my head. I look at my wrist and realize that my bracelets are missing. I go and retrieve them, took one last look in the mirror,  placing them on my arm. I close my eyes and sigh, hoping that this time around I finally get want I needed all the years.