Sweet Caroline {Ryan Blaney} ✔️

twenty-five

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Lydia twisted the cardboard sleeve on her cup, her eyes trained on the coffeeshop's door. She was skeptical that Ryan was actually going to show up considering he was supposed to meet her twenty minutes ago.

She had been shocked when he asked to talk to her in person. Ryan had been ignoring her calls and texts for a week. While she didn't want to push too hard and bombard him, Lydia knew that they couldn't end things like this and she was concerned about if he were okay or not.

Her eyes drifted towards the coffee that was no doubt getting cold on the other side of the table. She took a sip of her mint hot chocolate, debating on whether or not she should just cut her losses and leave.

Maybe this was some sort of punishment? Her stomach twisted at the thought of that. Ryan had never raised any red flags -- not that she didn't look for them, scrutinize every interaction, every look, every conversation and tones he used for them -- she just couldn't find one.

Lydia recognized what this was -- a byproduct of the fall out from his breakup with Stacy. If anybody knew what could happen in the midst of leaving an abusive relationship, it was Lydia -- considering that was partly what had gotten them to this point. But she still desperately wished that he would've just taken a minute to let her finish her sentence before he stormed off, this whole thing would've been so different.

Lydia glanced at the clock on her phone, realizing it was now closer to 30 minutes past when Ryan was supposed to be here, her lunch break almost over. She shook her head, enveloped by disappointment at how things were turning out. She knew that either he'd eventually come around and hear her out or he wouldn't. With a sigh, she resigned herself to the fact that this was out of her control.

She stood up, gathering her purse, phone, her cup, and the one that was supposed to be Ryan's. She dumped his coffee into the trash, turning to the door. Tears welled in her eyes as she made her way towards the door -- Ryan had disappointed her and that had stung far more than she ever anticipated that it would.

She pushed the door open, colliding with a body as she stepped out onto the sidewalk. Her hot chocolate splashed out of her cup. Lydia's eyes widened as she stepped back, her eyes glued to the sidewalk, not wanting to look up and face whoever she had just spilled hot chocolate on. "I'm so sorry."

"I guess I probably deserved it, huh?" Lydia's eyes snapped up to meet the familiar pair of blue-green ones. Ryan offered a weak smile. "I got stuck in a traffic jam and my phone is dead."

"Oh." Lydia frowned. "My lunch break is almost over."

Ryan's face fell, his brow furrowing. "Right." He shifted a little, shoving his hands in his pockets. "We can walk and talk?"

Lydia nodded, "I'm sorry about your shirt." She stepped around Ryan, towards her office building. They walked in silence for a moment -- the only noise between them was the clicking of her heels on the pavement.

"I'm sorry." Ryan finally spoke after a moment. "All I heard was a rejection and I just couldn't handle it so I left. That wasn't right of me."

"I wish you would have stayed a minute longer." Lydia spun the cardboard sleeve on her cup. "I wasn't rejecting you, Ryan. I just think you need a little time to figure out what your normal is. Caroline needs stability."

"Oh." Ryan murmured, pulling a hand through his hair. He stopped on the sidewalk. Lydia stopped, turning towards him. Her heart sank at the tears welling in his eyes. "I was so scared that the next time I talked to you, you were going to tell me that I can't see Caroline anymore."

"Ryan." Lydia grabbed Ryan's hand, leading him to a quiet alleyway. The alleyway was narrow but it was a little more private than the sidewalk. Lydia pressed her back on the brick, creating as much space between her and Ryan as she could.

"Ryan." She repeated, squeezing his hand. "I'm not going to do that." He nodded slowly but Lydia could tell that he was unconvinced. She shifted a little. Lydia had no idea if what she was about to say to him would help him understand or make things worse but Lydia knew that she had to try to make Ryan understand that the last thing she wanted to do was to take Caroline from him. "When you first found out about Caroline, I was afraid that you were going to hire big-money attorneys and get custody of her."

Ryan's face crumbled a little, his brow furrowed. "I don't understand." He shook his head. "Why would you think that?"

Lydia shrugged, "Probably because I am a family law attorney and I see things like that happen all the time." Lydia spun her coffee sleeve once more as she tried to figure out the best way to word what she was going to say next. "But I trust you now, I know you wouldn't ever do that. It's going to take you a while for you to be able to trust me, to be able to separate me and Stacy and that's okay. I understand."

"You do?" Ryan's stared at her quizzically. He opened his mouth to ask more but he closed his mouth before any questions tumbled out. Lydia was thankful for that -- she knew that she should tell Ryan about her past but she wasn't ready to open that box, to relive the pain that she had ran from.

"I do," Lydia confirmed, offering a smile. "I'm here, Ryan. Don't shut me out again." She stepped forward, pulling Ryan into a hug. Ryan wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. Lydia could feel his body shake a little, his floodgates opening much like hers had that day at her house.

Lydia smoothed his hair, not saying anything. Lydia knew exactly what he was going through, the millions of emotions that were coursing through him, and how hard it was to find any sense of normalcy.

After a moment, Ryan pulled away, wiping his tear-stained cheeks. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, okay?" Lydia flashed a reassuring smile. "Why don't you come over for dinner tonight? Spend some time with Caroline and then we can talk afterward?"

Ryan nodded eagerly. "Yeah. I would love that. I miss Caroline."

Lydia sidestepped out of the alleyway, Ryan in tow. "She misses you too."

Ryan's face lit up. "Really?"

Lydia wrung her hands, thinking back to Caroline's question — if Ryan could be her dad. "She wants you to be her dad."

Ryan's eyes widened before a grin broke out on his face. "Does this mean—"

Lydia shook his head, "I still think you need to find your normal, let things blow over gossip-wise with Stacy before." Ryan's face fell but Lydia knew that she was the strong one now, the healed one. She had to remain steadfast and do what was best for everybody.

"Right." Ryan nodded. "Well, I'll let you get back to work."

Lydia nodded. "I'll see you tonight?"

Ryan flashed a weak smile. "Tonight."
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