A DAGGER TO MY CHEST

SKINNED KNEES, EASIER TO FIX THAN A BROKEN HEART

"I wish I were a little girl again because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart" - Author unknown.

"I have something to tell you". Francis said to me as we sat in the company cafeteria.

What could it be? I thought.

"You also said that you wanted to say something to me" Francis said.

"Don't worry. You can speak first" I replied.

"Are you sure? Your tone sounded like it was important you spoke to me soon".

I wanted to hear what he had to say. May be, he would speak my deepest desire. And tell me, he had feelings for me.

I shook my head. "I was just being dramatic" I replied.

For the past two months, I have tried sharing my feelings with him but each time, after hours of planning my speech, I always lose courage. The truth was, I was scared.

I was scared that he would not love me the way I did. And telling him, may destroy the years of friendship we had built.

"Susan!"

I looked at Francis.

"I think you zoned out". He dropped a dollar bill on the table. "A penny for your thoughts".

I smiled at him.

Francis had always been the kind of guy that could put a smile on the face of anyone. He was a joy to be with. I can't ever remember being angry for too long in his presence.

I looked at his gap teeth. And could not stop myself from smiling like a well fed kitten. He was part of the few guys who looked good with gap teeth. And dimples. He was beautiful. "Handsome" could not do him justice.

"Susan. A penny for your thoughts" he said again.

He must truly think that I am crazy to keep smiling this way. I thought.

"No thought on my mind. I'm just happy. That's why I'm smiling".

"No good news?"

"None. You wanted to say something".

"That's right but I can't do it here" He said.

And so, we left the cafeteria, entered his car and drove to the shopping mall. He parked the car in front of the jewelry stores.

What could it be? I thought again.

Francis came down from his side of the car, came over to my side and opened the door.

"Thank you" I said.

He took my hand and held it as he led me towards one of the jewelry shops. The way he held my hand made me realize he was nervous. Francis was one of the most confident people I had ever met in my life.

So, why was he nervous?

Holding unto my hand like I could escape at any moment?

Oh my God.

He was going to propose.

He was leading me to the section for rings.

I did not know Francis had feelings for me. I thought his smiles and laughter had just been part of our friendship.

I was jumping inside my heart.

Jubilating and dancing like a fool.

He was nervous because of this moment.

I couldn't believe it.

"What type of ring do you like?" He asked me as the salesman came up.

Then he saw me staring at a ring and told the salesman to follow us.

It was a diamond ring. Other rings in that compartment were also diamonds.

"Which do you like?" He asked me.

I looked at him.

"Go ahead. Pick one. The one any woman would love".

I was speechless. Turned my eyes to the diamond rings that were calling to me.

I was sure of this step.

If Francis was also sure.

I wanted him to go along with me. All the way.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked him.

"I am. I have thought about it and I know am ready for this phase of my life" he said.

I looked at the diamond rings. And picked the six carat. It was the most beautiful one. And it sang my name.

I pulled the ring from the stand and put it on my finger. It fit perfectly.

"Do you love it?" He asked.

"Yes, I do. I love it so much". I wanted to cry as I said the words.

It was a dream come true.

"Do you think Hannah would like it?"

I looked up from the ring on my finger. In shock.

Why should Hannah like it? I thought.

"That was why I brought you along. I wanted to pick a ring she would love. One with a woman's touch" He said.

My face must have been in a mess.

"Susan, is something wrong?"

I wanted to fall down. My knees were shaking.

He held me around my waist.

"Are you okay?"

I smiled back.

"Of course, I am. Guess I'm just tired".

"Do you want to sit down?"

He just couldn't stop being caring.

"I'm fine". I replied as I shook off his hands.
"So ... Hannah. You and Hannah, when...?"
I couldn't say the words. I was stammering like an idiot.

"Two months. I thought you knew".

"I thought she was just one of your normal flings".

"No. Hannah is special. She's different. She makes me happy in a way no one ever had".

"I didn't know that" I said with a lump in my throat.

He held my hands, " I'm sure of it, Suzie". He called me by the pet name, he alone used.
"I finally got it right" He said full of smiles.

He was my friend. My best friend.

I did what any good friend would have done at that moment. I hugged him. Not wanting him to see the tears that threatened to fall.

"Congratulations" I said. "I'm sure you will make the best dad and husband in the world".

****
The memories all came back to me as I sat on the seat of the plane.

It was important I went with this flight. I have been going crazy in the past few weeks as I watched Francis smile and laugh without me. It was heartbreaking. A dagger to my chest. I cannot stay here anymore else I lose my sanity. I hope Francis remembers me always but for today, I will be leaving.

Taking this last flight back home.

THE END

Kindly, check out my thriller novel, A TIME OF RAGE, you'll love it!

THANKS for reading!!!