HOVERING RESTLESSLY

Walking through the cold passage of regrets,
I enter his happy place of no virtue.

I see him seated at the dinning table, reading the Times Journal
The gliding tender sun-rays, fall right on his chiseled like god face
The silk material of his suit, compliments those dreamy eyes of his
I could see a streak of tad nervousness on those lines of his face,
May be it is because of his big meeting that's lined up for today.

Holding a cup of tea in his right hand,
which, of course was hot enough,
as I could see the vapors dancing around the brim of the cup.
And indeed, he takes slow sips to not let that tongue be scorched.
He looks through the passage, and our eyes meet
I could see a striking dismay in his eyes,
Feeling the cold chills of the unworthy,
he frantically pushes the chair behind and walks towards me
As he gets closer, he gulps down the misery of our times felt
With mind being clogged by the lost dignity,
he throws an immature rant at me,
And asks,
''Why have you come?''
His words sure were tart,
but eyes were telling a very different story altogether
I reckon, he was glad to see me.

I whisper under my breath,
''They say you know nothing about me''
And continue with a break of yesterday's heat being felt today,
''But the depth of truth is more based on misapprehended lies
and smells pungent than I, myself, shall ever know.''
I suddenly speak louder than my usual voice, with tears rolling down my cheeks,
I ask, ''SO, YOU?''
feeling an unknown pain, I lead my voice to lower to the normal, but crying I move forward,
''You shall always be a tiny dot pasted on that last of every word,
in those random talks I have had all by myself.''

In the fight of dross and remorse,
I begin to think to myself.
Although, the reality begs to differ, truly told
I, myself have failed to understand what I actually am made of.
Flesh and bones?
Yes, speaks a very different story as we move forward.
But does it sound uncanny when I say my belly button hurts?

I look at him with all the hatred I've had for him in my heart.
He just stands there and is awfully quiet now.
Words falling out, I grumble with a restlessness within and pounce at him,
''When I look in that mirror,
I see her enervated eyes piercing right through me.
And I can barely look into those eyes of hers.
Her prevaricating eyes,
are never going to answer my questions
and of that, I am sure now.
So, why not just pretend?
That will suffice, don't we agree upon?''

I turn my face,
at the hanging mirror placed beautiful right next to the feign flowers in the living room
And I scream right back at her, at the image indeed.
Yes. Lashing out, leaving a wrecked shake in my voice, I ask,
''Who, who are you REALLY?''
My blue dawn knees, land forcefully on the grounds of unholy.
''Don't hide behind that door, come next to me''.
I look at him with a glance of disgrace
And scream,
''Say my name! SAY IT!''

With a broken smile, I whisper,
''Aren't I shining?''
''I sure am strong enough to lull the coming storm, aren't I?''
Oh. I've caused distress to myself today,
As I can't even recall what I was a 10,000 million years ago.

I look at him and smile like I mean it.
''A man, who has a pure heart..?''
He looks at me with a sheer hint of guilt.
''Yes, I am talking about you.''

''A man, who has a pure heart,
and comforts the weak,
couldn't save himself either, from committing the sin.''

Shaking through the bones, my eyes open free of the lamentable,
And tearing the silence, I murmur,
''We are the owners of the wrong world, aren't we? Or perhaps, the inventors?''
''Do you think that girl I see in the mirror, can still be me?''

Head down, he tries to ignore my sight present,
I slowly walk towards him,
And plead, ''Don't hide behind that door please. Please, come next to me.''

I know. He should have led me to the good.
I know. He should have left me out with the destroyed.
I know. He should have been pouring me through the right.
I know, he should have.
He should have.
''Oh. But yet again, neither do you know who I really am.'' I say, reproachfully.

I murmur, I try to suppress but let it out eventually,
''It's too late, don't you think? To ask my heart to be given away.''
I sure was ashamed of what I just said,
but couldn't let me be thinking about 'what if's'.

To my situation, there were no 'what if's'.
There was just hovering restlessly.

Walking towards me,
I see him passing a curve across his face,
but at the same time, I see a colossal guilt in his beautiful eyes
He holds my hand in his
His sinful eyes, pierce through my soul,
And he finally breaks the silence, speaking the wise out,
''I am sorry for bringing my predicament upon you,
but I assume,
we both are going to hover through this restlessness,
FOR EVER, FOR EVEN MORE.''